Week 8 Recap
Two months of fantasy competition have yielded an overwhelmingly top heavy PCOG.
64.28571428571429% of the teams in our league are at or above .500, which is unheard of. Of the five teams that have more losses than wins, no one is eliminated from the pursuit of the Chopper just yet. Personal pride and absolute hate prevents any PCOG member from throwing in the towel anyway, but I know for certain that fear of the SACKO propels us all towards glory or at least not finishing dead last, like Jeremy did last year. TO THE RECAP!
The Light of Genesis vs Young Bloodz
A little theme music is called for.
It is really, really, REALLY frustrating
To have players that some unnamed genius excoriates for paragraph upon paragraph to go off against him. This is now a weekly occurrence, as last week it was Jeremy's draft bust in chief Jordan Howard getting an unlucky 13 FPTS against me. Graham and Deshaun Watson asked Howard to hold their beer and me to hold their pocket, as Watson exploded for five (5!!!!!) passing touchdowns in a Mahomsian performance Thursday night against the Olphins. TNF could have been so much worse for me than it was, as Graham took my implied advice and started the suddenly red-hot Kenyan Drake and his 25.5 FPTS. Saquads Barkley continues to pay off
and do the heavy lifting for Graham. Alex Collins punched in a goal line attempt against Carolina, and Michael Thomas contributed 10.6 FPTS on Sunday night. Graham had the great fortune of playing my once high flying team, as his paltry 106.6 would not have triumphed in any other game this week. How was such a piteous performance good enough?
None of my moves paid off. Raheem Mostert should have had an incredible day against the putrid Cardinals, but had a putrid day instead. 2.3 FPTS. The Lions, at home and coming off a bye week, acquired the best run stuffing nose tackle in the game in Damon "Snacks" Harrison to bolster their line. Russell Wilson attempted 17 passes, three of which went for touchdowns and killed the D/ST score. 1FPT. Geronimo Allison, sure to be heavily targeted in a shootout in LA, managed one catch for 14 yards. 1.9FPTS. Kerryon Johnson got 8 rushing attempts as the bellcow for the Lions. Most of his 14.1 FPTS came on a 69 yard catch and run against the once vaunted Legion of Boom. And now, the piece de resistance: Andy Dalton.
You may recall my disgust at his failure last week. This week he was fine, until the Bengals went up by a bajillion points against Tampa and the Bengals sat on the ball in an almost vain attempt to beat the clock instead of the Yuccs. Wanna know how I got these scars?
By overestimating my ability to glimpse the future and shortchanging the gods of Fantasy. At this point I'm willing to blow my team up, so send me trade requests.
Final Score: Graham 106.6 (5-3) Andy 73.5 (5-3)
TaubenTime 4.0 vs Bresseale and Packer
GAME OF THE WEEK
Shirtless Josh may have the hottest team in PCOG. An 0-5 start is almost wiped away by a three game winning streak where he has averaged almost 140 FPTS per week. His fortunes have been tied to Cam Newton, who put up another good day against the Ravens in Charlotte. A little good fortune was attached, as this play action pass shows
https://twitter.com/panthers/status/1056607927392325632?s=21
Lamar Miller tore it up on TNF and Latavius Murray continues to reap the fantasy goodness that SHOULD HAVE BEEN DALVIN COOK'S. Pro Tip: handcuff your fantasy studs, or watch other teams laugh it up all the way to the bank as you stare longingly at the little red cross next to your player's name on the bench. Greg Olsen has made quite the comeback from his foot injury, and Stephen Gostkowski continues to rack up the points for the Pats.
B+P was sunk by Jameis Winston. Four turnovers and a second half benching yielded 10.1 FPTS. Mike Evans is much better with his replacement, the Beard. ODB surprisingly did not get into 17 fistfights with Josh Norman during the NY-Was game, but did collect 136 yards on eight catches. James White continues to touch the ball a million times a game, and Nick Chubb put in a baker's dozen against the Steelers. Had B+P started Peyton Barber against the Bungles they would have won, but instead go into a three way tie in the Appalachian division.
Final Score: Josh 127.5 (3-5) B+P 126.5 (5-3)
Something Clever vs Run CMC
Another close game here was a RB fight to the death. 6 were started and they averaged 22.32 FPTS for their managers. Jared and the Todd Gurleys had a great day, with 38.8 coming from the beast himself. Unbelievably his day could have been even better, but Gurley decided that real life victory was better than giving the Witch even the smallest chance at a comeback.
https://streamable.com/9eiqd
That is one of the smartest, most heads up plays of the year. Sammy Watkins emerged from his monthlong slumber for 2 TDS and 27.7 FPTS. Ingram and Gurley threw in 27 FPTs and Andrew Luck had three scores himself.
For Evil Tylerit is hard to find fault with his lineup decisions. Goff continues to get good yardage but all of the TDs go to Gurley. McCaffrey and his Denver Doppelganger Phillip Lindsay slash all over the field. The even more diminutive Tarik Cohen broke off a 70 yard TD reception for the Bears
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/nbnyap
I don't know who in the league can beat him in the open field. This game came down to the Lion's WRs, who only contributed 10.8 FPTS for Tyler. Had he started Marquise Goodwin over Kenny Golladay, he would have won this game. With Tate being traded to Philly, this opens quite the conundrum for Tyler. Do I start Golladay, with his newly opened opportunity? Or Goodwin, or Tate, who the Eagles traded for because they need some production opposite Alshon. Good luck figuring that cluster out for the rest of the season.
Final Score: Jared 140.8 (5-4) ET 134 (4-4)
Absolute Trash vs Try Hard 2: Try Harder
Bryan caught a terminal case of bye-week herpes over the weekend. His bell-cow RB and the ageless wonder, Sr. Rios, both worked on their golf games on Sunday rather than for Bryan. About the only thing that worked out for him was Joe Mixon, who had 100+ rushing yards in the first half against the Yuccs. Somehow he only finished with 123 after another 30 minutes of game time. Baker will be better without Hue weighing him down, Carlos Hyde had his last startable week ( not that he did anything with it in London) and CJ Uzomah turned the number 2 TE matchup into bupkis. With the Red Rifle responsible for his production, you can't be surprised by that though.
Troy got up off the mat and hit Bryan square in the record. Chris Carson showed why Detroit wanted to shore up their rushing defense, as he got 105 yards on 25 attempts. DeAndre Hopkins only had 82 yards but did score twice. Carson Wentz lit up the Jags in London, Doug Martin did a serviceable BeastMode impression and David Johnson is almost the only thing worth watching in Arizona. Troy saw what Bryan's TE brought to the pot and called him, with Njoku having no production against the Steelers. It is just another example of people who I talk shit about in this weekly sermon making me look like a dumbass the next week. Can't wait to see Try Hard 3: Try Hard with a Vengeance from Troy in week 9.
Final Score: Troy 121.6 (4-4) Bryan 87.5 (3-5)
This Bud's for U+ME2 vs JJJulio
I hate both of your names, they are impossible to type and as I look at the scoreboard I see you played each other this week.
Johnny blew up this week. Marlon Mack flirted with the injury report Tuesday through Saturday, only to emerge relatively unscathed with the fourth best RB performance of the week. Antonio Brown is a me first diva, so therefore is perfect on the Steelers and scored two touchdowns against the hapless Browns. Tyler Boyd went to sleep last week and woke up big time against Tampa. Aaron Rodgers should have had a better day against the LAms, but the Pack sat on the ball in a vain attempt to out clock the Rams. Jamaal Williams had 9 yards and 7.9 FPTS. Jimmy Graham continues to be useless when he does not catch a touchdown.
Kia was also the victim of teams taking the air out of the ball as soon as they got a lead. While the Saints passed for almost no yards, Sean Payton continues to pull his future HOFer for trickeration. This pass from Taysom Hill must have driven Kia insane on SNF. Let's watch it, shall we?
https://twitter.com/Saints/status/1056706086164586496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1056706086164586496&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fsaintswire.usatoday.com%2F2018%2F10%2F28%2Fnew-orleans-saints-minnesota-vikings-michael-thomas-taysom-hill%2F
Kudo's to the Saints for finding an heir apparent to Brees. May they rot in hell forever for stealing, STEALING, fantasy production from millions of aggrieved fantasy managers.
LeSean McCoy continues to toil in perpetual ignominy for the Bills, Stefon Diggs finally had a good game, and Demaryius Thomas may have some fantasy value after all in Houston. But not in Week 8.
Final Score: Johnny 133.4 (3-5) Kia 72.8 (2-6, on life support for the playoffs)
Don't Fournette About Me vs Chalupa Batman
Jordan Howard's upswing in production has already been noted. Sadly for Jeremy, his 19.6 FPTS were just about the only thing worthy of such highlight. Jordan Breasseale had tons of good players though. James Conner continues to do his best LeVeon Bell. Will Fuller exploded for 24.9 FPTS shortly before his ACL exploded. DeSean Jackson wanted a trade and ended up with a 60+ yard TD. Evan Engram and DeDe Westbrook added a garbage time TD apiece that still counts for fantasy. The Pats had their first defensive touchdown in 40 games. Jordan almost doubled Jeremy up, but will have to settle for laying down the biggest ass whooping via the largest margin of victory of the year, in 75.9 FPTS.
Final Score: Jeremy 82.3 (4-4) Jordan 158.2 (3-5)
Big Ried 1 vs Team Girl
The last game of the week would have been a game of the week candidate most times. It was very, very close leading into the SNF matchup between NE and Buffalo. Eric was up 6+ FPTs with Josh Gordon to go, while Aaron had Julian Edelman. Edelman's 17.7 put Aaron over the top. He was helped out by Aaron's Viking passing attack (Cousins to Thielen with 41.8), Alvin Kamara continuing his non Gurley category MVP bid, and Aaron Jones. Jones had only a little production but did get a rushing score. In fact, every starter that Aaron rolled out scored at least 15 FPTS. Except for the Baltimore D/ST, who has struggled for the second week in a row. -3 FPTS almost sunk his whole team.
Eric continues to score big with the same names. Patrick Mahomes and Kareem Hunt are powering the AFC's best team. CBS had a little fun with the Chiefs, and it's worth a second look.
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/elwrgd
Adrian Peterson put the Giants away with a huge day, totalling 40.6 FPTs through the air and on the ground. Davante Adams returned from injury to contribute 16.8 FPTs. But it all came down to Gordon, who scared the shit out of Eric with his purported first quarter suspension from Darth Belichick.
Leave it to Bill to screw with all of us by deciding, after the discipline had been handed out, to scratch if off once it leaked to the media. Gordon almost had a long TD but lost it in the lights of New Era Field. Eric lost the game in that same gaffe.
Final Score: Aaron 144.9 (5-3) Eric 140 (5-3)
Week 9 Sneak Peak
Aaron vs Andy
B+P vs Jared
ET vs Bryan
Troy vs Johnny
Kia vs Jeremy
Jordan vs Eric
Graham vs Josh
Arizona, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, NYG and Philadelphia are on bye. I'm open for trade to pull out of the death spin I'm currently engaged in. Halloween is Wednesday and we should all be scared of the Sacko.
64.28571428571429% of the teams in our league are at or above .500, which is unheard of. Of the five teams that have more losses than wins, no one is eliminated from the pursuit of the Chopper just yet. Personal pride and absolute hate prevents any PCOG member from throwing in the towel anyway, but I know for certain that fear of the SACKO propels us all towards glory or at least not finishing dead last, like Jeremy did last year. TO THE RECAP!
The Light of Genesis vs Young Bloodz
A little theme music is called for.
It is really, really, REALLY frustrating
To have players that some unnamed genius excoriates for paragraph upon paragraph to go off against him. This is now a weekly occurrence, as last week it was Jeremy's draft bust in chief Jordan Howard getting an unlucky 13 FPTS against me. Graham and Deshaun Watson asked Howard to hold their beer and me to hold their pocket, as Watson exploded for five (5!!!!!) passing touchdowns in a Mahomsian performance Thursday night against the Olphins. TNF could have been so much worse for me than it was, as Graham took my implied advice and started the suddenly red-hot Kenyan Drake and his 25.5 FPTS. Saquads Barkley continues to pay off
and do the heavy lifting for Graham. Alex Collins punched in a goal line attempt against Carolina, and Michael Thomas contributed 10.6 FPTS on Sunday night. Graham had the great fortune of playing my once high flying team, as his paltry 106.6 would not have triumphed in any other game this week. How was such a piteous performance good enough?
None of my moves paid off. Raheem Mostert should have had an incredible day against the putrid Cardinals, but had a putrid day instead. 2.3 FPTS. The Lions, at home and coming off a bye week, acquired the best run stuffing nose tackle in the game in Damon "Snacks" Harrison to bolster their line. Russell Wilson attempted 17 passes, three of which went for touchdowns and killed the D/ST score. 1FPT. Geronimo Allison, sure to be heavily targeted in a shootout in LA, managed one catch for 14 yards. 1.9FPTS. Kerryon Johnson got 8 rushing attempts as the bellcow for the Lions. Most of his 14.1 FPTS came on a 69 yard catch and run against the once vaunted Legion of Boom. And now, the piece de resistance: Andy Dalton.
You may recall my disgust at his failure last week. This week he was fine, until the Bengals went up by a bajillion points against Tampa and the Bengals sat on the ball in an almost vain attempt to beat the clock instead of the Yuccs. Wanna know how I got these scars?
By overestimating my ability to glimpse the future and shortchanging the gods of Fantasy. At this point I'm willing to blow my team up, so send me trade requests.
Final Score: Graham 106.6 (5-3) Andy 73.5 (5-3)
TaubenTime 4.0 vs Bresseale and Packer
GAME OF THE WEEK
Shirtless Josh may have the hottest team in PCOG. An 0-5 start is almost wiped away by a three game winning streak where he has averaged almost 140 FPTS per week. His fortunes have been tied to Cam Newton, who put up another good day against the Ravens in Charlotte. A little good fortune was attached, as this play action pass shows
https://twitter.com/panthers/status/1056607927392325632?s=21
Lamar Miller tore it up on TNF and Latavius Murray continues to reap the fantasy goodness that SHOULD HAVE BEEN DALVIN COOK'S. Pro Tip: handcuff your fantasy studs, or watch other teams laugh it up all the way to the bank as you stare longingly at the little red cross next to your player's name on the bench. Greg Olsen has made quite the comeback from his foot injury, and Stephen Gostkowski continues to rack up the points for the Pats.
B+P was sunk by Jameis Winston. Four turnovers and a second half benching yielded 10.1 FPTS. Mike Evans is much better with his replacement, the Beard. ODB surprisingly did not get into 17 fistfights with Josh Norman during the NY-Was game, but did collect 136 yards on eight catches. James White continues to touch the ball a million times a game, and Nick Chubb put in a baker's dozen against the Steelers. Had B+P started Peyton Barber against the Bungles they would have won, but instead go into a three way tie in the Appalachian division.
Final Score: Josh 127.5 (3-5) B+P 126.5 (5-3)
Something Clever vs Run CMC
Another close game here was a RB fight to the death. 6 were started and they averaged 22.32 FPTS for their managers. Jared and the Todd Gurleys had a great day, with 38.8 coming from the beast himself. Unbelievably his day could have been even better, but Gurley decided that real life victory was better than giving the Witch even the smallest chance at a comeback.
https://streamable.com/9eiqd
That is one of the smartest, most heads up plays of the year. Sammy Watkins emerged from his monthlong slumber for 2 TDS and 27.7 FPTS. Ingram and Gurley threw in 27 FPTs and Andrew Luck had three scores himself.
For Evil Tylerit is hard to find fault with his lineup decisions. Goff continues to get good yardage but all of the TDs go to Gurley. McCaffrey and his Denver Doppelganger Phillip Lindsay slash all over the field. The even more diminutive Tarik Cohen broke off a 70 yard TD reception for the Bears
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/nbnyap
I don't know who in the league can beat him in the open field. This game came down to the Lion's WRs, who only contributed 10.8 FPTS for Tyler. Had he started Marquise Goodwin over Kenny Golladay, he would have won this game. With Tate being traded to Philly, this opens quite the conundrum for Tyler. Do I start Golladay, with his newly opened opportunity? Or Goodwin, or Tate, who the Eagles traded for because they need some production opposite Alshon. Good luck figuring that cluster out for the rest of the season.
Final Score: Jared 140.8 (5-4) ET 134 (4-4)
Absolute Trash vs Try Hard 2: Try Harder
Bryan caught a terminal case of bye-week herpes over the weekend. His bell-cow RB and the ageless wonder, Sr. Rios, both worked on their golf games on Sunday rather than for Bryan. About the only thing that worked out for him was Joe Mixon, who had 100+ rushing yards in the first half against the Yuccs. Somehow he only finished with 123 after another 30 minutes of game time. Baker will be better without Hue weighing him down, Carlos Hyde had his last startable week ( not that he did anything with it in London) and CJ Uzomah turned the number 2 TE matchup into bupkis. With the Red Rifle responsible for his production, you can't be surprised by that though.
Troy got up off the mat and hit Bryan square in the record. Chris Carson showed why Detroit wanted to shore up their rushing defense, as he got 105 yards on 25 attempts. DeAndre Hopkins only had 82 yards but did score twice. Carson Wentz lit up the Jags in London, Doug Martin did a serviceable BeastMode impression and David Johnson is almost the only thing worth watching in Arizona. Troy saw what Bryan's TE brought to the pot and called him, with Njoku having no production against the Steelers. It is just another example of people who I talk shit about in this weekly sermon making me look like a dumbass the next week. Can't wait to see Try Hard 3: Try Hard with a Vengeance from Troy in week 9.
Final Score: Troy 121.6 (4-4) Bryan 87.5 (3-5)
This Bud's for U+ME2 vs JJJulio
I hate both of your names, they are impossible to type and as I look at the scoreboard I see you played each other this week.
Johnny blew up this week. Marlon Mack flirted with the injury report Tuesday through Saturday, only to emerge relatively unscathed with the fourth best RB performance of the week. Antonio Brown is a me first diva, so therefore is perfect on the Steelers and scored two touchdowns against the hapless Browns. Tyler Boyd went to sleep last week and woke up big time against Tampa. Aaron Rodgers should have had a better day against the LAms, but the Pack sat on the ball in a vain attempt to out clock the Rams. Jamaal Williams had 9 yards and 7.9 FPTS. Jimmy Graham continues to be useless when he does not catch a touchdown.
Kia was also the victim of teams taking the air out of the ball as soon as they got a lead. While the Saints passed for almost no yards, Sean Payton continues to pull his future HOFer for trickeration. This pass from Taysom Hill must have driven Kia insane on SNF. Let's watch it, shall we?
https://twitter.com/Saints/status/1056706086164586496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1056706086164586496&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fsaintswire.usatoday.com%2F2018%2F10%2F28%2Fnew-orleans-saints-minnesota-vikings-michael-thomas-taysom-hill%2F
Kudo's to the Saints for finding an heir apparent to Brees. May they rot in hell forever for stealing, STEALING, fantasy production from millions of aggrieved fantasy managers.
LeSean McCoy continues to toil in perpetual ignominy for the Bills, Stefon Diggs finally had a good game, and Demaryius Thomas may have some fantasy value after all in Houston. But not in Week 8.
Final Score: Johnny 133.4 (3-5) Kia 72.8 (2-6, on life support for the playoffs)
Don't Fournette About Me vs Chalupa Batman
Jordan Howard's upswing in production has already been noted. Sadly for Jeremy, his 19.6 FPTS were just about the only thing worthy of such highlight. Jordan Breasseale had tons of good players though. James Conner continues to do his best LeVeon Bell. Will Fuller exploded for 24.9 FPTS shortly before his ACL exploded. DeSean Jackson wanted a trade and ended up with a 60+ yard TD. Evan Engram and DeDe Westbrook added a garbage time TD apiece that still counts for fantasy. The Pats had their first defensive touchdown in 40 games. Jordan almost doubled Jeremy up, but will have to settle for laying down the biggest ass whooping via the largest margin of victory of the year, in 75.9 FPTS.
Final Score: Jeremy 82.3 (4-4) Jordan 158.2 (3-5)
Big Ried 1 vs Team Girl
The last game of the week would have been a game of the week candidate most times. It was very, very close leading into the SNF matchup between NE and Buffalo. Eric was up 6+ FPTs with Josh Gordon to go, while Aaron had Julian Edelman. Edelman's 17.7 put Aaron over the top. He was helped out by Aaron's Viking passing attack (Cousins to Thielen with 41.8), Alvin Kamara continuing his non Gurley category MVP bid, and Aaron Jones. Jones had only a little production but did get a rushing score. In fact, every starter that Aaron rolled out scored at least 15 FPTS. Except for the Baltimore D/ST, who has struggled for the second week in a row. -3 FPTS almost sunk his whole team.
Eric continues to score big with the same names. Patrick Mahomes and Kareem Hunt are powering the AFC's best team. CBS had a little fun with the Chiefs, and it's worth a second look.
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/elwrgd
Adrian Peterson put the Giants away with a huge day, totalling 40.6 FPTs through the air and on the ground. Davante Adams returned from injury to contribute 16.8 FPTs. But it all came down to Gordon, who scared the shit out of Eric with his purported first quarter suspension from Darth Belichick.
Leave it to Bill to screw with all of us by deciding, after the discipline had been handed out, to scratch if off once it leaked to the media. Gordon almost had a long TD but lost it in the lights of New Era Field. Eric lost the game in that same gaffe.
Final Score: Aaron 144.9 (5-3) Eric 140 (5-3)
Week 9 Sneak Peak
Aaron vs Andy
B+P vs Jared
ET vs Bryan
Troy vs Johnny
Kia vs Jeremy
Jordan vs Eric
Graham vs Josh
Arizona, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, NYG and Philadelphia are on bye. I'm open for trade to pull out of the death spin I'm currently engaged in. Halloween is Wednesday and we should all be scared of the Sacko.
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