Week 6 Recap
Halfway through the regular season, PCOG action is warming up just in time for everyone to start losing studs due to injury and bye weeks. High scoring games occurred this week, but no game was all that close. In fact, the average margin of victory was 30.9 FPTS this past week. Just goes to show that despite the depth and breadth of our league, where we were drafting slugs and nobodies by halfway through the draft, scoring is still high and you have to have a pretty good day if one is to emerge with a victory. TO THE RECAP!
Perhaps a little theme music for our heavyweight bout?
2nd Best Hutton vs The Light of Genesis
What a titanic showdown between twin colossi: Ezekiel Elliot
https://giant.gfycat.com/MistyThoughtfulGalapagossealion.webm
ran over, around and through the once vaunted Jaguar D/ST to the tune of 26.2 FPTS. Joe Mixon contributed almost 20 points in a LOSING effort to Pitt. Gronk Robkowski routinely got wide the fuck open against KC, much to Eric's consternation and Bryan's giddy clapping.
https://streamable.com/oa0iw
Even Dan Bailey, once my beloved Dallas kicker, got in on the action and contributed a double digit day. How best to describe Bryan's fantasy output compared to his sourpuss older brother's? Why not let that same stickler say it
MERE WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY JOY AT HAVING DESTROYED THE PATHETIC, PITIFUL AND PITIABLE BRYGUY.
WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE? TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, HAVE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THEIR WOMEN? NO!! TO USE THE OUTSTANDING DAY OF THEIR FAVORITE RUNNING BACK AS HE SCORES TOUCHDOWN AFTER TOUCHDOWN AFTER TOUCHDOWN! MELLY GOD-RON IS A FANTASY FEAST ALL TO HIMSELF, AND I GORGED ON 40.5 FPTS.
WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT TYREEK HILL THAT HAS NOT BEEN SAID ABOUT ANY OTHER FORCE OF NATURE? THREE TOUCHDOWNS TORCHED THE PATS ON SUNDAY NIGHT, YIELDING A SHIVA BLAST THAT RENT THE HEAVENS AND NECESSITATED A CHANGE OF UNDERGARMENTS!
NOT EVEN THE LAST MINUTE INACTIVITY OF TWO (2) OF MY STARTERS BROUGHT ME DOWN, AS MARQUEZ VALDEZ-SCANLTLING AND ronald jones SCORED ANOTHER 16+ FPTS!
Thus speaks the fantasy gods. Bryan called me at 11:42 on 11OCT2018 with the following message: "I will wipe the floor with the remnants of your team." Brave words.
Final Score: ANDY 149.4 (5-1) bryan 102.4 (3-3)
Oakland Hodors vs Don't Fournette About Me
Aaron got back up off the mat from a lackluster performance last week with a great one this week. 7/9 starters contributed double digits, with the Cousins to Thielen connection once again paying dividends.
40.9 FPTS, or 100.09% of Melvin Gordon, powered Aaron this week. The Raven's D/ST and their 11 sacks of Mariota didn't hurt either. AJ Green and Julian Edelman took advantage of terrible secondaries to have good days, and Mason Crosby won the MNF game almost all by himself and prevented another overtime.
Jeremy was sunk by subpar RB weeks. Jordan Howard continues to not get the ball from the Bears, Chris Ivory looks up to Shady's "production", and Isiah Crowell dropped back down to the deep of irrelevancy where he belongs.
Final Score: Aaron 126.5 (4-2) Jeremy 88.8 (3-3)
This Bud's for u and I'll take 2 vs Big Reid 1
Things were looking bleak for Eric until the last two games of the week. Johnny MoCo was up, thanks to the outstanding performance of Antonio Brown (who did absolutely nothing until the dregs of the fourth quarter), Emmanuel Sanders and Tyler Boyd. 65.7 FPTS out of three starters is terrifying. Add to that A-A-Ron's second 400+ passing week in a row, with Jimmy Graham on the end of several of those big passes, brought big trouble for Big Ried.
He answered in spectacular fashion. 87 out of his Chiefs, with another 31.2 from Rodger's best target, fueled an epic comeback. Adrian Peterson continues to turn the clock back to 2009 as he is running like a now Burgundy Jesus for Washington. Alfred Morris had zero yards on none carries, which is better than the D/STs these two trotted out (-1 for Atlanta and Chicago).
Final Score: Eric 153.1 (4-2) Johnny 126.6 (2-4)
Chalupa Batman vs Young Bloodz
Graham should have to change his name to Young Blood, as Deshaun Watson sucked out loud against Buffalo. 2.3 FPTS is terrible in this day and age of inflated production and ridiculous protection for signal callers. Everyone who didn't rely on that noodle armed turnover machine were incredible for the Cracker this week though. Alex Collins finally got the ball for the Ravens, and Alshon Jeffery emerged from the PUP list to throw up two scores against the Giants. Add those two together and you get Saquon, who is terrifying for this Cowboy's fan to think about for the next 8-10 years. Barkley routinely tramples defenders, and vaults over those he cannot for long, slashing run after another.
Jordan has her own stable of impressive young RBs in James Conner and Sony Michel. 64.3 FPTS from the two of them is a great start to any fantasy week, but unfortunately a great start for Antonio Ramiro Romo Breasseale's mom (breaking news, they are having a boy and that will be his name) was all she got and that's all she wrote. If only you had had the foresight and brilliance to start Dakota Rayne Prescott (which is also a great name for little CB to be)
and his 30+ FPTs you would have emerged victorious.
Final Score: Graham 139.7 (4-2) Jordan 121.8 (2-4)
JuJuJulio vs Breasseale and Packer
Kia can't seem to catch a break. Week after week of good production only to run into an even better day from her opponent. Big Ben and Julio continue to churn out yardage but not enough touchdowns. LeSean McCoy had his second best outing of the season. But the mediocre rushing of Dion Lewis and Bilal Powell did her in this week.
S+T continue to nail it. James White is inexplicably a RB2 with minimal usage, Peyton Barber came off his bye week with a fire in his belly and a 6.3 YPC average. The Texans D/ST had the good fortune of being on the receiving end of a Nathan Peterman sighting, who played for 1/3 of the fourth quarter and promptly threw a pick-six. If and when ODB gets his shit together you will have one hell of a team.
Final Score: S+T 126.4 (4-2) Kia 105.1 (2-4)
Something Clever vs TaubenTime4.0
Let's all congratulate Shirtless Josh from no longer being Winless Josh. A big day from Last-Minute Latavius (155 RUYD) set the mark for his squad this week. How does it feel to root for not one, but two separate Vikings starters as a Pecker fan? FF is unquestionably the Devil. Keenan Allen ran, caught and passed??
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/0ap3000000973486/Chargers-trick-play-backfires-for-loss-of-19-yards
for 13.3 Corey Clement seems to be the Philly RB worth a shit after the Ajayi injury, and he contributed 17.2 FPTS.
Jared and the Gurley Men lost. Mainly because Todd Gurley II is the only player worth almost anything. His 46.5 FPT day was enough to win the game against the Broncos, but not against Josh. Andrew Luck would have had a much better day if the Jets had not possessed the ball for 17 more minutes than Indy, due to the approximately 354+98 turnovers in that slopfest in Jersey. Yeldon ran well the three times Jax called his number, Calvin Ridley isn't worth anything when he does not score. Speaking of not scoring, starting the kicker for a team that gets blanked is not gonna cut it.
Final Score: Josh 144.3 (1-5) Jared 115.4 (3-3)
Salmon Pan vs Run CMC
Let's end on a sour note, shall we? This "contest" featured two squads whose paltry performance would have lost to 11/14 PCOG teams this week. Troy decided he should get his good result out of the way quick, and Carson Wentz threw three touchdowns on TNF. DJ and DeAndre had just OK results, especially when compared to their ceilings. But escaping with floor performances is better than the basement. Evil Tyler turned into a pumpkin this week. Tarik Cohen needed OT to do anything for the Bears, CMC was stuffed against the strong run D of Washington, and Phillip Lindsay averaged over 1 FPT per touch. Sadly he only garnered 10 such touches. That's better than Quincy Enunwa, who added injury to insult (out 3-4 weeks with a high ankle sprain) by scoring -0.4 FPTS.
Final Result, as neither team scored enough to notice: Troy 103.3 (2-4) Tyler 66.2 (3-3)
Week 7 Preview
Andy vs Jeremy
Graham vs Eric
S+T vs Aaron
Josh vs Johnny
Tyler vs Jordan
Jared vs Bryan
Marital Mayhem
I do apologize for the truncated nature and late delivery of this week's recap, but I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH BLOOD FLOW TO MY BRAIN TO WRITE AS MY STILL ENGORGED ERECTION THROBS IN VICTORY OVER BRYAN AND THE JAGS! THE ONLY THING BIGGER THAN THE ASS BEATINGLY HUGE MARGIN OF VICTORY FOR AMERICA'S TEAM OVER THE KITTY KATS IS MY TUMESCENT DICK. AND THE ONLY THING BIGGER THAN THAT WAS THE MARGIN OF VICTORY OVER BRYAN! As far as I'm concerned, I win at football for all eternity after this weekend.
Perhaps a little theme music for our heavyweight bout?
2nd Best Hutton vs The Light of Genesis
What a titanic showdown between twin colossi: Ezekiel Elliot
https://giant.gfycat.com/MistyThoughtfulGalapagossealion.webm
ran over, around and through the once vaunted Jaguar D/ST to the tune of 26.2 FPTS. Joe Mixon contributed almost 20 points in a LOSING effort to Pitt. Gronk Robkowski routinely got wide the fuck open against KC, much to Eric's consternation and Bryan's giddy clapping.
https://streamable.com/oa0iw
Even Dan Bailey, once my beloved Dallas kicker, got in on the action and contributed a double digit day. How best to describe Bryan's fantasy output compared to his sourpuss older brother's? Why not let that same stickler say it
MERE WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY JOY AT HAVING DESTROYED THE PATHETIC, PITIFUL AND PITIABLE BRYGUY.
WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE? TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, HAVE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THEIR WOMEN? NO!! TO USE THE OUTSTANDING DAY OF THEIR FAVORITE RUNNING BACK AS HE SCORES TOUCHDOWN AFTER TOUCHDOWN AFTER TOUCHDOWN! MELLY GOD-RON IS A FANTASY FEAST ALL TO HIMSELF, AND I GORGED ON 40.5 FPTS.
WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT TYREEK HILL THAT HAS NOT BEEN SAID ABOUT ANY OTHER FORCE OF NATURE? THREE TOUCHDOWNS TORCHED THE PATS ON SUNDAY NIGHT, YIELDING A SHIVA BLAST THAT RENT THE HEAVENS AND NECESSITATED A CHANGE OF UNDERGARMENTS!
NOT EVEN THE LAST MINUTE INACTIVITY OF TWO (2) OF MY STARTERS BROUGHT ME DOWN, AS MARQUEZ VALDEZ-SCANLTLING AND ronald jones SCORED ANOTHER 16+ FPTS!
Thus speaks the fantasy gods. Bryan called me at 11:42 on 11OCT2018 with the following message: "I will wipe the floor with the remnants of your team." Brave words.
Final Score: ANDY 149.4 (5-1) bryan 102.4 (3-3)
Oakland Hodors vs Don't Fournette About Me
Aaron got back up off the mat from a lackluster performance last week with a great one this week. 7/9 starters contributed double digits, with the Cousins to Thielen connection once again paying dividends.
40.9 FPTS, or 100.09% of Melvin Gordon, powered Aaron this week. The Raven's D/ST and their 11 sacks of Mariota didn't hurt either. AJ Green and Julian Edelman took advantage of terrible secondaries to have good days, and Mason Crosby won the MNF game almost all by himself and prevented another overtime.
Jeremy was sunk by subpar RB weeks. Jordan Howard continues to not get the ball from the Bears, Chris Ivory looks up to Shady's "production", and Isiah Crowell dropped back down to the deep of irrelevancy where he belongs.
Final Score: Aaron 126.5 (4-2) Jeremy 88.8 (3-3)
This Bud's for u and I'll take 2 vs Big Reid 1
Things were looking bleak for Eric until the last two games of the week. Johnny MoCo was up, thanks to the outstanding performance of Antonio Brown (who did absolutely nothing until the dregs of the fourth quarter), Emmanuel Sanders and Tyler Boyd. 65.7 FPTS out of three starters is terrifying. Add to that A-A-Ron's second 400+ passing week in a row, with Jimmy Graham on the end of several of those big passes, brought big trouble for Big Ried.
He answered in spectacular fashion. 87 out of his Chiefs, with another 31.2 from Rodger's best target, fueled an epic comeback. Adrian Peterson continues to turn the clock back to 2009 as he is running like a now Burgundy Jesus for Washington. Alfred Morris had zero yards on none carries, which is better than the D/STs these two trotted out (-1 for Atlanta and Chicago).
Final Score: Eric 153.1 (4-2) Johnny 126.6 (2-4)
Chalupa Batman vs Young Bloodz
Graham should have to change his name to Young Blood, as Deshaun Watson sucked out loud against Buffalo. 2.3 FPTS is terrible in this day and age of inflated production and ridiculous protection for signal callers. Everyone who didn't rely on that noodle armed turnover machine were incredible for the Cracker this week though. Alex Collins finally got the ball for the Ravens, and Alshon Jeffery emerged from the PUP list to throw up two scores against the Giants. Add those two together and you get Saquon, who is terrifying for this Cowboy's fan to think about for the next 8-10 years. Barkley routinely tramples defenders, and vaults over those he cannot for long, slashing run after another.
Jordan has her own stable of impressive young RBs in James Conner and Sony Michel. 64.3 FPTS from the two of them is a great start to any fantasy week, but unfortunately a great start for Antonio Ramiro Romo Breasseale's mom (breaking news, they are having a boy and that will be his name) was all she got and that's all she wrote. If only you had had the foresight and brilliance to start Dakota Rayne Prescott (which is also a great name for little CB to be)
and his 30+ FPTs you would have emerged victorious.
Final Score: Graham 139.7 (4-2) Jordan 121.8 (2-4)
JuJuJulio vs Breasseale and Packer
Kia can't seem to catch a break. Week after week of good production only to run into an even better day from her opponent. Big Ben and Julio continue to churn out yardage but not enough touchdowns. LeSean McCoy had his second best outing of the season. But the mediocre rushing of Dion Lewis and Bilal Powell did her in this week.
S+T continue to nail it. James White is inexplicably a RB2 with minimal usage, Peyton Barber came off his bye week with a fire in his belly and a 6.3 YPC average. The Texans D/ST had the good fortune of being on the receiving end of a Nathan Peterman sighting, who played for 1/3 of the fourth quarter and promptly threw a pick-six. If and when ODB gets his shit together you will have one hell of a team.
Final Score: S+T 126.4 (4-2) Kia 105.1 (2-4)
Something Clever vs TaubenTime4.0
Let's all congratulate Shirtless Josh from no longer being Winless Josh. A big day from Last-Minute Latavius (155 RUYD) set the mark for his squad this week. How does it feel to root for not one, but two separate Vikings starters as a Pecker fan? FF is unquestionably the Devil. Keenan Allen ran, caught and passed??
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/0ap3000000973486/Chargers-trick-play-backfires-for-loss-of-19-yards
for 13.3 Corey Clement seems to be the Philly RB worth a shit after the Ajayi injury, and he contributed 17.2 FPTS.
Jared and the Gurley Men lost. Mainly because Todd Gurley II is the only player worth almost anything. His 46.5 FPT day was enough to win the game against the Broncos, but not against Josh. Andrew Luck would have had a much better day if the Jets had not possessed the ball for 17 more minutes than Indy, due to the approximately 354+98 turnovers in that slopfest in Jersey. Yeldon ran well the three times Jax called his number, Calvin Ridley isn't worth anything when he does not score. Speaking of not scoring, starting the kicker for a team that gets blanked is not gonna cut it.
Final Score: Josh 144.3 (1-5) Jared 115.4 (3-3)
Salmon Pan vs Run CMC
Let's end on a sour note, shall we? This "contest" featured two squads whose paltry performance would have lost to 11/14 PCOG teams this week. Troy decided he should get his good result out of the way quick, and Carson Wentz threw three touchdowns on TNF. DJ and DeAndre had just OK results, especially when compared to their ceilings. But escaping with floor performances is better than the basement. Evil Tyler turned into a pumpkin this week. Tarik Cohen needed OT to do anything for the Bears, CMC was stuffed against the strong run D of Washington, and Phillip Lindsay averaged over 1 FPT per touch. Sadly he only garnered 10 such touches. That's better than Quincy Enunwa, who added injury to insult (out 3-4 weeks with a high ankle sprain) by scoring -0.4 FPTS.
Final Result, as neither team scored enough to notice: Troy 103.3 (2-4) Tyler 66.2 (3-3)
Week 7 Preview
Andy vs Jeremy
Graham vs Eric
S+T vs Aaron
Josh vs Johnny
Tyler vs Jordan
Jared vs Bryan
Marital Mayhem
I do apologize for the truncated nature and late delivery of this week's recap, but I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH BLOOD FLOW TO MY BRAIN TO WRITE AS MY STILL ENGORGED ERECTION THROBS IN VICTORY OVER BRYAN AND THE JAGS! THE ONLY THING BIGGER THAN THE ASS BEATINGLY HUGE MARGIN OF VICTORY FOR AMERICA'S TEAM OVER THE KITTY KATS IS MY TUMESCENT DICK. AND THE ONLY THING BIGGER THAN THAT WAS THE MARGIN OF VICTORY OVER BRYAN! As far as I'm concerned, I win at football for all eternity after this weekend.
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