Turkey Shoot
We are on the cusp of the 2018 PCOG playoffs. Two more weeks to gain entry to and solidify seeding. Two more weeks of relevancy for some, and the final chase for glory for others. Week 11 was capped off by the game of the week of the month of the year in KC-LA. What a game. What a Fantasy output. I'd say that is not the last time we will see that particular matchup in the 2018 season. TO THE RECAP!
Andy Defamation League vs Porkchop Please Help
Before SNF kicked off, things were looking up for Kia. Stefon Diggs' 26.1 FPTS helped to create a 50+ lead going into the Main Event. Drew Brees is incredible, especially when his team is up 30+ points on the Eagles. It just goes to show you that if you beat Sean Payton in golf he will do all he can to crush your spirit when you next meet. On fourth down, with a huge lead Brees dialed up this dime to Alvin Kamara to throw the last bit of dirt on Philly's season.
https://streamable.com/7wgk3
Glorious. Magnificent. A fitting high point for a player deserving of MVP considerations. Dion Lewis has regressed along with the rest of the Titans, but his lookalike in Oakland Jalen Richard was inexplicably used over Doug Martin against the Cardinals. Jordan Reed was a beneficiary of Alex Smith's horrible injury, in that Colt McCoy immediately locked on to him and threw him 9+ targets. Devin Funchess has been surpassed by DJ Moore in Carolina, mostly because Dev dropped 60% of the balls Cam airmailed him. Demaryius Thomas contributed zero points on no catches for none yards. His replacement in Denver, Courtland Sutton, whom Kia burnt a first WW claim on, languished on the bench, as did the confusingly rostered Adam Humphries. Christian Kirk's 18.8 also would have come in handy against Andy. But instead;
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/rygmyq
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/kagbad
Final Score: Andy 124.7 (7-4) Kia 116.9 (3-8)
Breasseale and Packer vs BEERME2
Johnny got off the mat and saved the slimmest hope of a playoff slot with a victory against S+T. Aaron Rodgers threw the ball non-stop against the Seahawks on TNF, especially when Aaron Jones was wide open for dumpoffs that would inevitably lead to first downs, extended drives, and a win in Seattle. Oh well. At least you guys will get to fire the hated coach that is stalling out your once proud franchise, as opposed to America's Team™ who continues to win in improbable fashion that lets the Clapper™ survive another week. Not that I'm frustrated with it or anything. Antonio Brown kickstarted the Steelers comeback against the Jags with this 78 yard score
https://streamable.com/98u6d
and totaled 24.2FPTS. Royce Freeman's ankle booboo is almost completely healed, but was good enough for 11.3 FPTS in a win? against the Chargers. Emmanuel Sanders has descended back into his normal, comfortable insignifigance. Jimmy Graham broke his thumb and will probably be out for the year. Tyler Boyd continues to not adequately fill AJ Green's shoes as the #1 threat in Cincy. Marlon Mack is part of a three headed RB committee in Indianapolis, but gets enough work to merit a start every week he is healthy.
S+T has gone as Matt Ryan does. When he is awesome, they inevitably win. When he runs into the FORMIDABLE WALL THAT IS THE DALLAS D/ST HE IS BEATEN INTO A PULP. Peyton Barber is not quite as terrible as I once thought he was, but let's not get ahead of ourselves: The Giants suck on defense. ODB is great though, and continues to give credence to the myth that Eli is any good any more. Mike Evans is hamstrung by the on again off again QB shitshow from Tampa. He is a lone bright spot on a blighted season for the Yuccs. Zach Ertz was awful in a televised murder against the Saints. Donte Moncrief would be good for the Jags if their optimal gameplan involved more than 4 passes per game. The Texans D/ST knocked Smith out for the season, and also collected this pick six before Capt. Checkdown turned into Capt. Checkmyxraysforafracture.
https://streamable.com/q5hx5
Final Score: Johnny 118.52 (4-7) S+T 110.8 (7-4)
Evil Tyler's Lobos vs Don't Fournette About Me
Jeremy is another victim from the Monday Night Drive-By. Up by about 34 points he had to have felt pretty good about his chances. 400+ yards and 4 passing TDs from Goff combined with 24.7 from Kelce (which should have been bigger, as Kelce dropped several balls with clear running lanes in front of him) was enough to sink the DFAMs. Jeremy had a pretty good day, with the bulk of his points coming from the same game: Pitt/Jax was a laugher for the first half and a barn burner for the fourth quarter. Leonard Fournette ran over innumerous Steelers, and Big Ben pulled Pitt's bacon from the fire with this stunning two inch horizontal leap for the winning score:
https://streamable.com/r06km
Well, winning score for the Steelers. CMC, Babytron and Phillip Lindsay combined for almost a hundo. Jared Goff's heroics have already been detailed, as have Kelce's butterfingers. This jerk's is frothy with anger and his hands are still probably slick from this nationally televised blunder.
Tarik Cohen has sucked for the last several weeks, and Golden Tate is wondering what kind of free agent deal he will earn this offseason if he can't catch whatever fluttering dead ducks Carson Wentz flutters his way. The Bengals made Lamar Jackson look like right handed Michael Vick. Graham Gano is only reliable from 60+ yards, as his missed gimmes from close in caused the Panthers to lose in laughable fashion against the Lions.
Final Score: ET 146.2 (7-4) Jeremy 117.8 (5-6)
Salmon Pan vs Big Ried 1
Why not touch on the other half of the MNF gunslingers? Patrick Mahomes was magnificent once again, accounting for 8 total touchdowns. Of course 2 of them were score by the same LAm, who rendered Jason Witten virtually speechless
https://streamable.com/q4u5q
Just look at Andy Reid's face in that clip. He heard over the 90,00+ screaming fans in the Coliseum the cluster that is the MNF crew, and is lucky that he was able to relay plays to his OC without Boog interrupting him 63543 times during the game. Back to FF, Kareem Hunt was criminally underused against the LAms. 16 touches is unconscionable when this star is burning Los Angeles more than the Camp Fire. Adrian Peterson almost willed Washington to a victory, contributing two scores on the ground against Houston. Good luck running against 14 man boxes though with Dusty McTumbleweed as QB. Davante Adams is the only reliable WR for Green Bay. Amari Cooper has done wonders for Dallas' offense, and is a devastating blocker who keeps opposing defenses from stacking the box. Those very important football assets mean squadoosh for fantasy though. Eric Ebron almost scored another touchdown on minimal touches, but the almost is the key here. He comically overthrew Andrew Luck on the Indy!Indy! trick play against Tennessee
https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1064229813815140352
Troy has capitalized on Julio Jones' resurgence after a change of fantasy scenery. He scored for the third game in a row, against my beloved Cowboys. He also laid out the helpless receiver Jeff Heath on this play, should have been ejected for targeting, and therefore ineligble for half of this week's game too.
https://streamable.com/xfoib
Troy, if you have a shred of decency in your pathetic schlubby little body, you will do the right thing and bench this vicious monster of a predator this week. Doug Martin is the latest victim of the irrational coaching decisions wheel of destiny. He was playing great and then benched for the terrible JAGS that make up the special teams section of the Raiders RB room. DeAndre Hopkins is way better than I thought he was ever going to be. Jack Doyle is last in the Colts TE Passes Attempted category. Chris Carson fumbled his very first touch on TNF, but has gained Pete Carroll's confidence for at least 1/3 of the Seattle RB carries. As they run the ball 100 times a game, that makes him quite the fantasy weapon.
Final Score: Eric 139 (First team to lose after scoring 50 points in NFL History), Troy 103.3 (Playoff Life Support)
Chalupa Batgirl vs TaubenTime 4.0
The Falcons have allowed each non-Foles opposing QB to pass for at least 300 yards this season. Dak Prescott is his own man, and refuses to follow the herd. He bravely shucked recent history by passing for 208 yards, but did average one touchdown per rush for the Cowboys. James Conner almost cost Pittsburgh the game by dropping this meatball that would have given the Men of Steel the go ahead points.
Lev would have caught it. Larry Fitz caught two balls for two scores. The rest of Jordan's team is too depressing to write about, but I hope little CB's first Thanksgiving is a blessed and happy one.
If Josh's WRs would go off on the same day his would be a team to be feared. ARob followed up his 150+ yard game from last week with a stinker this week, but Keenan Allen was money against the Donkeys. Greg Olsen was deemed too old for the Lions to cover, and was gifted a free red zone TD accordingly. Lamar Miller helped run out the clock on Washington's season. I, being sick of seeing PCOG members field illegal lineups, saw that Shirtless Josh was going into the weekend as Kickerless Josh. I sent him a text, which he was grateful for. Little did I know that Justin Fucking Tucker was available on the WW.
https://streamable.com/s431r
You're Welcome.
Final Score: Mommy and me 74.7 (3-8) Josh 106.7 (4-7)
Team Girl vs Something Clever
Jared's big day could have been bigger. There were fourteen (14) touchdowns scored on Monday Night, and none of them went to the Gurley Man. It has since come out in the press that he rolled an ankle relatively early in that firefight, and he has a bye week to recover. But it is shocking to see the FF MVP in a plus matchup not capitalize on his opportunity. Sammy Watkins was another black mark on the start everyone fantasy groupthink that surrounded KC-LA. He too has a bye to recover, but IDK how I feel about his chances for the rest of the season. Mark Ingram was the victory cigar against the Eagles, grinding out tough carries and the clock when the Saints and Sean Payton got tired of kicking them in the face. TY Hilton is fully recovered from a bum hammy and blew up against the Titans.
Aaron had a good day, but a great one was required against Jared. Kirk and Thielen could not rekindle the magic from earlier in the season against a tough Chicago D/ST. Kamara caught that bomb from Brees, and nothing else all that spectacular. Jared Cook caught a wide open touchdown against the Cards and virtually nothing else. Aaron Jones is CRIMINALLY underused by the soon to be former HC of the Pack. He is really, really good and it gives me such pleasure to watch the hated Peckers waste him.
Final Score: Jared 135.3 (7-4) Aaron 117.2 (7-4)
GAME OF THE WEEK!
Young Bloodz vs Fighting Off the Sacko For Now
As these teams were so close, we will examine both together position by position. Deshaun Watson struggled, but at least he finished the game. Ryan PicksPatrick was pulled for Tampa's #1 rideshare client, who promptly threw two touchdowns and accounted for three turnovers. Saquon Barkley will lose ROY to Mahomes, but is easily the Offensive ROY. He is so good the Giants have some modicum of playoff life left. Ezekiel Elliot made amends for a terrible showing last year against the Falcons by racking up 200+ total yards. Alex Collins has riverdanced into oblivion, making way for the Gus Bus. Joe Mixon scored a TD and was than forgotten about. Michael Thomas is getting close to breaking Marvin Harrison's single season receptions record, and scores TDs like he is trying to earn beads on Bourbon Street. Corey Davis is a fantasy cocktease, which inevitably results in his once a lunar cycle points explosions withering on the bench where he belongs. Alshon Jeffery can't overcome his terrible QB. Brandin Cooks is in a perfect position with the LAms, and has had Brees, Brady and Goff as his career NFL QBs. What a lucky bastard. Trey Burton was blanked by the Vikes. CJ Uzomah is never going to happen, stop trying to make him happen. Taylor Gabriel is well suited in the slot for the Biscuit, and has Chase Daniels to look forward to on Turkey Day. Woof. Sterling Shepard was dropped for a reason. The Cardinals D/ST was ranked as the #1 streamer by all of the fantasy cognoscenti this week. Woops. The Raiders can move the ball occasionally, and sunk Graham for the week. Bryan had incredible chutzpah to start the LAms against the Chiefs. Two D/ST scores turned not only the MNF matchup, but this one as well. No one but Josh and I care about kickers.
MARGIN OF VICTORY: .9FPTS
Final Score: Bryan 114.5 Graham 113.6
Calculation Info
All 16384 remaining scenatios were analyzed. No possibility of tied games was considered.
No scenario in which a team with less than 5 wins got a wildcard spot was detected.
Team Synopsis
Andy (7-4-0).......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Aaron (7-4-0)......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
S+T (7-4-0)........... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Kia (3-8-0)........... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0%. Tie 1%.
Josh (4-7-0).......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.9%. Tie 17%.
Jordan (3-8-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 0%. Tie 0.9%.
Bryan (4-7-0)......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.9%. Tie 17%.
Jared (7-4-0)......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Jeremy (5-6-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 25%. Tie 42%.
Evil Tyler (7-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 98%. Tie 1%.
Graham (6-5-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 75%. Tie 22%.
Troy (5-6-0).......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 25%. Tie 42%.
Johnny (4-7-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.9%. Tie 19%.
Eric (8-3-0).......... CLINCHED a PLAYOFF spot! Wildcard odds: Clinch 100%. Tie 0%.
Upcoming round's PLAYOFF analysis
Andy CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN
Aaron CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
Troy LOSS ; OR
A WIN
S+T CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN; OR
Troy LOSS
Jared CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
Troy LOSS ; OR
A WIN
Evil Tyler CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN; OR
Troy LOSS
Graham CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN -AND- Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Troy LOSS
Week 12 preview
Troy vs Andy
Jeremy vs S+T
Eric vs ET
Josh vs Kia
Jared vs Jordan
Bryan vs Aaron
Johnny vs Graham
This week brings us the holiday of Thanksgiving. It is a time to reflect on what we have and be happy for it. I am so grateful to all of you for making this the best time of the year, and truly hope that your holiday is full of family and love. Safe travels to those who do, and I love you guys as only someone who spends multiple hours every week writing a dick joke diatribe for your enjoyment. Happy Thanksgiving.
Andy Defamation League vs Porkchop Please Help
Before SNF kicked off, things were looking up for Kia. Stefon Diggs' 26.1 FPTS helped to create a 50+ lead going into the Main Event. Drew Brees is incredible, especially when his team is up 30+ points on the Eagles. It just goes to show you that if you beat Sean Payton in golf he will do all he can to crush your spirit when you next meet. On fourth down, with a huge lead Brees dialed up this dime to Alvin Kamara to throw the last bit of dirt on Philly's season.
https://streamable.com/7wgk3
Glorious. Magnificent. A fitting high point for a player deserving of MVP considerations. Dion Lewis has regressed along with the rest of the Titans, but his lookalike in Oakland Jalen Richard was inexplicably used over Doug Martin against the Cardinals. Jordan Reed was a beneficiary of Alex Smith's horrible injury, in that Colt McCoy immediately locked on to him and threw him 9+ targets. Devin Funchess has been surpassed by DJ Moore in Carolina, mostly because Dev dropped 60% of the balls Cam airmailed him. Demaryius Thomas contributed zero points on no catches for none yards. His replacement in Denver, Courtland Sutton, whom Kia burnt a first WW claim on, languished on the bench, as did the confusingly rostered Adam Humphries. Christian Kirk's 18.8 also would have come in handy against Andy. But instead;
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/rygmyq
https://www.clippituser.tv/c/kagbad
Final Score: Andy 124.7 (7-4) Kia 116.9 (3-8)
Breasseale and Packer vs BEERME2
Johnny got off the mat and saved the slimmest hope of a playoff slot with a victory against S+T. Aaron Rodgers threw the ball non-stop against the Seahawks on TNF, especially when Aaron Jones was wide open for dumpoffs that would inevitably lead to first downs, extended drives, and a win in Seattle. Oh well. At least you guys will get to fire the hated coach that is stalling out your once proud franchise, as opposed to America's Team™ who continues to win in improbable fashion that lets the Clapper™ survive another week. Not that I'm frustrated with it or anything. Antonio Brown kickstarted the Steelers comeback against the Jags with this 78 yard score
https://streamable.com/98u6d
and totaled 24.2FPTS. Royce Freeman's ankle booboo is almost completely healed, but was good enough for 11.3 FPTS in a win? against the Chargers. Emmanuel Sanders has descended back into his normal, comfortable insignifigance. Jimmy Graham broke his thumb and will probably be out for the year. Tyler Boyd continues to not adequately fill AJ Green's shoes as the #1 threat in Cincy. Marlon Mack is part of a three headed RB committee in Indianapolis, but gets enough work to merit a start every week he is healthy.
S+T has gone as Matt Ryan does. When he is awesome, they inevitably win. When he runs into the FORMIDABLE WALL THAT IS THE DALLAS D/ST HE IS BEATEN INTO A PULP. Peyton Barber is not quite as terrible as I once thought he was, but let's not get ahead of ourselves: The Giants suck on defense. ODB is great though, and continues to give credence to the myth that Eli is any good any more. Mike Evans is hamstrung by the on again off again QB shitshow from Tampa. He is a lone bright spot on a blighted season for the Yuccs. Zach Ertz was awful in a televised murder against the Saints. Donte Moncrief would be good for the Jags if their optimal gameplan involved more than 4 passes per game. The Texans D/ST knocked Smith out for the season, and also collected this pick six before Capt. Checkdown turned into Capt. Checkmyxraysforafracture.
https://streamable.com/q5hx5
Final Score: Johnny 118.52 (4-7) S+T 110.8 (7-4)
Evil Tyler's Lobos vs Don't Fournette About Me
Jeremy is another victim from the Monday Night Drive-By. Up by about 34 points he had to have felt pretty good about his chances. 400+ yards and 4 passing TDs from Goff combined with 24.7 from Kelce (which should have been bigger, as Kelce dropped several balls with clear running lanes in front of him) was enough to sink the DFAMs. Jeremy had a pretty good day, with the bulk of his points coming from the same game: Pitt/Jax was a laugher for the first half and a barn burner for the fourth quarter. Leonard Fournette ran over innumerous Steelers, and Big Ben pulled Pitt's bacon from the fire with this stunning two inch horizontal leap for the winning score:
https://streamable.com/r06km
Well, winning score for the Steelers. CMC, Babytron and Phillip Lindsay combined for almost a hundo. Jared Goff's heroics have already been detailed, as have Kelce's butterfingers. This jerk's is frothy with anger and his hands are still probably slick from this nationally televised blunder.
Tarik Cohen has sucked for the last several weeks, and Golden Tate is wondering what kind of free agent deal he will earn this offseason if he can't catch whatever fluttering dead ducks Carson Wentz flutters his way. The Bengals made Lamar Jackson look like right handed Michael Vick. Graham Gano is only reliable from 60+ yards, as his missed gimmes from close in caused the Panthers to lose in laughable fashion against the Lions.
Final Score: ET 146.2 (7-4) Jeremy 117.8 (5-6)
Salmon Pan vs Big Ried 1
Why not touch on the other half of the MNF gunslingers? Patrick Mahomes was magnificent once again, accounting for 8 total touchdowns. Of course 2 of them were score by the same LAm, who rendered Jason Witten virtually speechless
https://streamable.com/q4u5q
Just look at Andy Reid's face in that clip. He heard over the 90,00+ screaming fans in the Coliseum the cluster that is the MNF crew, and is lucky that he was able to relay plays to his OC without Boog interrupting him 63543 times during the game. Back to FF, Kareem Hunt was criminally underused against the LAms. 16 touches is unconscionable when this star is burning Los Angeles more than the Camp Fire. Adrian Peterson almost willed Washington to a victory, contributing two scores on the ground against Houston. Good luck running against 14 man boxes though with Dusty McTumbleweed as QB. Davante Adams is the only reliable WR for Green Bay. Amari Cooper has done wonders for Dallas' offense, and is a devastating blocker who keeps opposing defenses from stacking the box. Those very important football assets mean squadoosh for fantasy though. Eric Ebron almost scored another touchdown on minimal touches, but the almost is the key here. He comically overthrew Andrew Luck on the Indy!Indy! trick play against Tennessee
https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1064229813815140352
Troy has capitalized on Julio Jones' resurgence after a change of fantasy scenery. He scored for the third game in a row, against my beloved Cowboys. He also laid out the helpless receiver Jeff Heath on this play, should have been ejected for targeting, and therefore ineligble for half of this week's game too.
https://streamable.com/xfoib
Troy, if you have a shred of decency in your pathetic schlubby little body, you will do the right thing and bench this vicious monster of a predator this week. Doug Martin is the latest victim of the irrational coaching decisions wheel of destiny. He was playing great and then benched for the terrible JAGS that make up the special teams section of the Raiders RB room. DeAndre Hopkins is way better than I thought he was ever going to be. Jack Doyle is last in the Colts TE Passes Attempted category. Chris Carson fumbled his very first touch on TNF, but has gained Pete Carroll's confidence for at least 1/3 of the Seattle RB carries. As they run the ball 100 times a game, that makes him quite the fantasy weapon.
Final Score: Eric 139 (First team to lose after scoring 50 points in NFL History), Troy 103.3 (Playoff Life Support)
Chalupa Batgirl vs TaubenTime 4.0
The Falcons have allowed each non-Foles opposing QB to pass for at least 300 yards this season. Dak Prescott is his own man, and refuses to follow the herd. He bravely shucked recent history by passing for 208 yards, but did average one touchdown per rush for the Cowboys. James Conner almost cost Pittsburgh the game by dropping this meatball that would have given the Men of Steel the go ahead points.
Lev would have caught it. Larry Fitz caught two balls for two scores. The rest of Jordan's team is too depressing to write about, but I hope little CB's first Thanksgiving is a blessed and happy one.
If Josh's WRs would go off on the same day his would be a team to be feared. ARob followed up his 150+ yard game from last week with a stinker this week, but Keenan Allen was money against the Donkeys. Greg Olsen was deemed too old for the Lions to cover, and was gifted a free red zone TD accordingly. Lamar Miller helped run out the clock on Washington's season. I, being sick of seeing PCOG members field illegal lineups, saw that Shirtless Josh was going into the weekend as Kickerless Josh. I sent him a text, which he was grateful for. Little did I know that Justin Fucking Tucker was available on the WW.
https://streamable.com/s431r
You're Welcome.
Final Score: Mommy and me 74.7 (3-8) Josh 106.7 (4-7)
Team Girl vs Something Clever
Jared's big day could have been bigger. There were fourteen (14) touchdowns scored on Monday Night, and none of them went to the Gurley Man. It has since come out in the press that he rolled an ankle relatively early in that firefight, and he has a bye week to recover. But it is shocking to see the FF MVP in a plus matchup not capitalize on his opportunity. Sammy Watkins was another black mark on the start everyone fantasy groupthink that surrounded KC-LA. He too has a bye to recover, but IDK how I feel about his chances for the rest of the season. Mark Ingram was the victory cigar against the Eagles, grinding out tough carries and the clock when the Saints and Sean Payton got tired of kicking them in the face. TY Hilton is fully recovered from a bum hammy and blew up against the Titans.
Aaron had a good day, but a great one was required against Jared. Kirk and Thielen could not rekindle the magic from earlier in the season against a tough Chicago D/ST. Kamara caught that bomb from Brees, and nothing else all that spectacular. Jared Cook caught a wide open touchdown against the Cards and virtually nothing else. Aaron Jones is CRIMINALLY underused by the soon to be former HC of the Pack. He is really, really good and it gives me such pleasure to watch the hated Peckers waste him.
Final Score: Jared 135.3 (7-4) Aaron 117.2 (7-4)
GAME OF THE WEEK!
Young Bloodz vs Fighting Off the Sacko For Now
As these teams were so close, we will examine both together position by position. Deshaun Watson struggled, but at least he finished the game. Ryan PicksPatrick was pulled for Tampa's #1 rideshare client, who promptly threw two touchdowns and accounted for three turnovers. Saquon Barkley will lose ROY to Mahomes, but is easily the Offensive ROY. He is so good the Giants have some modicum of playoff life left. Ezekiel Elliot made amends for a terrible showing last year against the Falcons by racking up 200+ total yards. Alex Collins has riverdanced into oblivion, making way for the Gus Bus. Joe Mixon scored a TD and was than forgotten about. Michael Thomas is getting close to breaking Marvin Harrison's single season receptions record, and scores TDs like he is trying to earn beads on Bourbon Street. Corey Davis is a fantasy cocktease, which inevitably results in his once a lunar cycle points explosions withering on the bench where he belongs. Alshon Jeffery can't overcome his terrible QB. Brandin Cooks is in a perfect position with the LAms, and has had Brees, Brady and Goff as his career NFL QBs. What a lucky bastard. Trey Burton was blanked by the Vikes. CJ Uzomah is never going to happen, stop trying to make him happen. Taylor Gabriel is well suited in the slot for the Biscuit, and has Chase Daniels to look forward to on Turkey Day. Woof. Sterling Shepard was dropped for a reason. The Cardinals D/ST was ranked as the #1 streamer by all of the fantasy cognoscenti this week. Woops. The Raiders can move the ball occasionally, and sunk Graham for the week. Bryan had incredible chutzpah to start the LAms against the Chiefs. Two D/ST scores turned not only the MNF matchup, but this one as well. No one but Josh and I care about kickers.
MARGIN OF VICTORY: .9FPTS
Final Score: Bryan 114.5 Graham 113.6
Calculation Info
All 16384 remaining scenatios were analyzed. No possibility of tied games was considered.
No scenario in which a team with less than 5 wins got a wildcard spot was detected.
Team Synopsis
Andy (7-4-0).......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Aaron (7-4-0)......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
S+T (7-4-0)........... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Kia (3-8-0)........... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0%. Tie 1%.
Josh (4-7-0).......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.9%. Tie 17%.
Jordan (3-8-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 0%. Tie 0.9%.
Bryan (4-7-0)......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.9%. Tie 17%.
Jared (7-4-0)......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Jeremy (5-6-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 25%. Tie 42%.
Evil Tyler (7-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 98%. Tie 1%.
Graham (6-5-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 75%. Tie 22%.
Troy (5-6-0).......... Wildcard odds: Clinch 25%. Tie 42%.
Johnny (4-7-0)........ Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.9%. Tie 19%.
Eric (8-3-0).......... CLINCHED a PLAYOFF spot! Wildcard odds: Clinch 100%. Tie 0%.
Upcoming round's PLAYOFF analysis
Andy CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN
Aaron CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
Troy LOSS ; OR
A WIN
S+T CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN; OR
Troy LOSS
Jared CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
Troy LOSS ; OR
A WIN
Evil Tyler CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN; OR
Troy LOSS
Graham CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN -AND- Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Troy LOSS
Week 12 preview
Troy vs Andy
Jeremy vs S+T
Eric vs ET
Josh vs Kia
Jared vs Jordan
Bryan vs Aaron
Johnny vs Graham
This week brings us the holiday of Thanksgiving. It is a time to reflect on what we have and be happy for it. I am so grateful to all of you for making this the best time of the year, and truly hope that your holiday is full of family and love. Safe travels to those who do, and I love you guys as only someone who spends multiple hours every week writing a dick joke diatribe for your enjoyment. Happy Thanksgiving.
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13315149/Murray_38_yard_TD_Jets_2018_Week_7.jpg)
