League Manager's Note
Week 10 Recap
Week 10 in the NFL was an offensive showcase, with teams marching up and down the field. The Bills, Saints and Steelers all dropped 50 burgers on their opponents. As our game is tied to real world production, it follows that PCOG scoring was through the roof this week. Unfortunately, a crop of blowouts was recorded this week as the average margin of victory was 38.13FPTS, with the closest matchup being 15.9.
A new member of PCOG also entered the league this week, as S̶o̶p̶h̶i̶a̶ ̶A̶n̶n̶ Chalupa Batgirl Brazil was born Friday. The PCOGNN reports that both mother and child are healthy, with enough safety that they were able to be discharged in time to watch the UGA football game Saturday. TO THE RECAP!
Andy Defamation League vs Chalupa Batgirl
I am so happy for Aaron and Jordan and Sophia Ann. I know for certain that their expanded family will have nothing but love and support in the Big House. Jordan got off to a hot start on the TNF nationally televised beatdown of the kitties by the STEELERS. Her FF MVP candidate, James Conner got off to a hot start against Carolina but ended up in the dreaded blue medical tent with a concussion. Dak Prescott had a heroic performance against the hated Iggles on SNF, accounting for two touchdowns in what will hopefully be a harbinger for the rest of the season. Jordan rolled the dice on a couple of other players, like Sony Michel, who came back from injury in a surprisingly awful performance for the Pats against the Titans (more on that later). Michel's struggles was representative for the rest of Jordan's starters, as DJax, DeDe, Larry Fitz and Evan Engram all scored <10FPTS. Other than the kicker.
That left little room for error. Such enemy production and skill would require the most keen analytical examination and savvy roster moves to counteract it. After all, when one's opponent is completely focused with zero new, squalling distractions, perfection is required.
MELVIN GOD-RON IS A BEAST!
https://twitter.com/Chargers/status/1061751791539240960
165 TOTAL YARDS AND A TOUCH FOR MY MAN! 32.5 BIIIIG FANTASY POINTS ON THE DAY!
TYREEK HILL, THAT DIMINUTIVE DOMESTIC ABUSER, RIPPED OFF TD AFTER TD AGAINST THE HAPLESS CARDINALS! IT HAS BEEN SAID FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE A PICTURE, AS IT WILL LAST LONGER. HE TOOK OVER THE WHOLE DAMN CAMERA IN CELEBRATION OF MY VICTORY!
https://streamable.com/rkurv
ROBERT WOODS IS MR RELIABLE! GEORGE KITTLE IS THE THIRD BEST FF TE ON THE PLANET! JOSH ADAMS IS THE BEST RB IN PHILLY, BUT THEIR IDIOT MORON HEAD COACH INSISTS ON CONTINUING TO USE A PAIR OF PINT SIZED JAGOFFS IN HIS STEAD, WHICH CERTAINLY CONTRIBUTED TO PHILLY'S LOSS AGAINST AMERICA'S TEAM!
I may have bought in a season too late on Tom Brady. 10 pathetic FPTS is a Dalton level showing, and not the league winner level that I traded away a starting RB for.
Final Score: Andy 136 (6-4) Jordan 135.9* (3-7)
TB4U+ME2 vs Evil Tyler's Lobos
Speaking of Tier 1 QBs who are inexplicably underperforming, A-A-Ron Rodgers is just barely a starter this year. 10th is not good enough for the 2nd round pick Johnny expended on him. Antonio Brown is a crafty, veteran who just finds ways of getting open despite perfect coverage (he pushed off like a motherfucker on this score)
https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1060722323576238082?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1060722323576238082&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2F247sports.com%2Fnfl%2Fcarolina-panthers%2FArticle%2FDonte-Jackson-furious-Antonio-Brown-push-off-124441356%2F
It still counts though. Jamaal Williams has zero no role anymore. Marlon Mack has begun his yearly see-saw between top tier and injury report. Kelvin Benjamin was on a team that scored 41 points, and recorded zero action. Jimmy Graham had one catch. Tyler Boyd is awesome when AJ Green draws the defense's attention, but falls short as the number one threat.
ET has the opposite problem. His team is firing on all cylinders, with Christian McCaffrey's month long explosion setting the pace. The Panthers as a whole may have struggled in Pittsburgh, but CMC was on his game. Jared Goff runs the LAms offense like a well tuned machine. And just as robotically, when they get to the red zone Gurley takes over, robbing Goff of the TDs he needs to be truly amazing. Tarik Cohen is the Bear's choice for first crack at RB carries. Mike Davis was, until Rashaad Penny trumped him with the first round pick Seattle used to secure him back in April. About the only facet that ET is lacking in is WRs. Cooper Kupp shredded everything in his knee that ends in CL on a non-contact cut on a route, and is done for the year. I wouldn't bet on him making much noise either, at least not until December. Golden Tate, newly minted Eagle, couldn't get on track against the stifling Dallas D. Even Travis Kelce had a down day (for him). Golladay looks like your best option, but with the series of turnstiles currently blocking for Matt Stafford I wouldn't want to rely on him either.
Final Score: ET 130.4 (6-4) Johnny 70.9 (3-7)
Don't Fournette About Me vs Salmon Pan
A flaxen-haired FF genius once wrote about the benefits of patience. Jeremy's was paid off, as Leonard Fournette nailed the final coffin in Carlos Hyde's fantasy value, once again becoming a football player instead of a patient. 31.4 FPTS propelled by 2340897 touches and two touchdowns almost bring the Jags back to relevance. Jordan Howard, who is like Fournette but not as good, can't replicate his idol's production or moves. Which is probably why the Bears go to Tarik 9873 more times a game than to Howard. New to Jeremy's team is Kerryon Johnson, who carries on with his splendid running under new management. JuJu caught Rapistburger's first pass for 75 yards and a TD.
https://streamable.com/701xs
He is really, really good. He is like a young Dez Bryant without the chronic knee issues and a pair of complete Achilles tendons. Speaking of, who needs Big Ben in your starting spot every week? I thought for sure it was just a goof, as you had traded Brady to me earlier in the week. Had you texted me early enough in the game, and if Troy was cool with it, I would have used my commissionarial powers for good and moved him into the slot. But instead you decided to throw caution and Kyle Rudolph to the wind IOT start Eli "I'm a Mouth Breather" Manning. I'm personally shocked he didn't fuck it up for you and blow the 10+ point lead you had on sacks and picks. Good looking out.
Troy came up one great player short against Jeremy. The Panthers scoring -5 on TNF does not help that particular algebraic problem. Carson Wentz was great when he passed to Ertz on SNF and only so-so on all other targets. David Johnson is paying great dividends for the faith you showed in him earlier this season, trading for him when his fantasy stock was at an all time nadir. Julio is 2/2 in scoring touchdowns when he does not belong to your wife this season. Here is a pro-tip: Trade for Kia's players and watch them turn to gold once they leave her blighted shores. Speaking of blasted and devastated climes, Oakland is awful. Terrible. A laughing stock who is on the path to a long rebuild, which will be helped by the bevy of first round picks they have accrued in swindling trades this season. Doug Martin continues to not get the memo, as everyone else on that team has long since packed it in but he continues to put forth a foreign thing for the Silver and Black, "Effort". I applaud his dedication to duty and whatever team he will play for next year.
Final Score: Jeremy 128.5 (5-5) Troy 112.6 (5-5)
Welcoming the Sacko, as he richly deserves it vs Breasseale and Packer
Seth and Tyler have jointly run this team better than any two-owner team I have ever heard of. What is your secret? Long strategy sessions via Facetime? Lineup decisions via text message? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET? They took the hiding I rendered unto them last week to heart, as they deigned to start a kicker this week. Vinatieri put up 2 points. They didn't really need it though, as most of their other starters were outfuckingstanding this week. Nick Chubb galloped for 92 yards and a score against the Falcons on this play
https://streamable.com/sxfo1
He contributed 200+ total yards against Atlanta, probably killing their playoff dreams. ODB is back on track despite relying on the lesser Manning for his targets. Zach Ertz averaged 10+ yards per catch, had 14 of those and two touchdowns in a losing effort at home against Dallas.
Matt Brieda had ten days to recover from his crippling case of MPH, and cashed in for 33 against the Giants. Mike Evans is more confused than a tweenaged omnisexual pixiekin on Tumblr with his on again off again production. James White had a game script where one would think he would shine, catch up mode for the entire second half. But he was swamped by Tennessee defenders who routinely shucked him on their way to Tom Terrific. Football is weird.
Bryan had Zeke, and that's almost it.
Brandin Cooks will injury vulture half of Kupp's targets and had a pretty good day. Felipe Rios has yet to be challenged outside the KC game, and instead chooses to rest on his laurels instead of passing when the Bolts invariably get out to a double digit lead. Speaking of double digits, the Bungles, in their collective wisdom (they just brought the disgraced mastermind Hue Jackson onto their coaching staff), have apparently decided that their all-star RB is only good when the game is close. Even though he is an amazing pass catcher. Whatevs. Maurice Harris was the darling of every FF expert Waiver Wire column this week, and instead showed why he is never used in Washington despite their comically thin WR corps.
Final Score: BP 173.4 (7-3) Bryan 127.5 (3-7 [6Ls in a row])
Big Reid 1 vs Porkchop Please Help
This was a contest between consistency and wild variance in production. Eric had all 9 starters log double digit points, with Eric Ebron and his three touchdowns doing the heavy lifting for Tndy's TE only offense. Mahomes and Hunt came back to earth with "only" 34.3 between them. Multiple times this season that would have been a single game for just one of the red hot Chiefs. Adrian Peterson overcame age and OLine injuries with grit, determination, and staggering amounts of steroids. Davante Adams is the only predictable thing in GB other than blinding snow and calls for the head coach's head. Josh Gordon probably broke a finger on a deep target, and Amari Cooper broke Philly DB's ankles all throughout the second half of what turned out to be quite the game Sunday night.
Kia had a pair of great performers and several absolute duds. Drew Brees suffers from afluenza as the Saints are constantly up big, negating the need for him to throw. He still collected 29.4 FPTS in light work. LeSean McCoy was also a key part of a blowout, but he got consistent work throughout and had two touchdows as the Jets were shot down by Buffalo. Dion Lewis was vultured again by Derrick Henry on the goal line and should have had a better day. Jalen Richard was the only other player to approach double digits, which leaves Kia coming up short.
Final Score: Eric 138 (7-3) Kia 104.6 (3-7)
TaubenTime 4.0 vs Team Good Guess
I don't understand how Josh's team didn't do better. Derrick Henry rolled into the endzone twice, Allen Robinson had 100+ yards and a touchdown, and Keenan Allen should be starting his second half explosion any day now. It really all came down to Cam Newton: The Panthers were one of the hottest teams in the league headed into Pitt and were shellacked by the Steelers. Usually having an excellent QB in garbage time is quite the fantasy feast, as Cam and the Panthers have shown several times this year in come from behind victories. But the Steelers put such a beating on Cam that he was eventually pulled in the fourth fo his own protection. It was refreshing to see a quarterback actually protected while running in a Panthers game, but instead it was Captain FatFuck who earned the flag on this "run"
https://gfycat.com/KeyDirectBengaltiger
Aaron didn't let a little thing like becoming a new father get in the way of fantasy domination. Once again he was powered by an agile RB, but this week it was Aaron Jones rather than Kamara to get the big points. 74.3 out of three running backs is excellent any week. Blake Bortles contributed 27.1 as the Jags lost whatever trace of mojo they had last year, but it wasn't hsi fault this time. Instead the defense collapsed throughout the first half against the Stanford Colts. Julian Edelman got 16.1 FPTS and an ankle booboo, Mohamed Sanu is a JAG, and Jared Cook has fallen waaaay off of his early season production.
Final Score: Aaron 148.3 (7-3) Kia 104.8 (3-7)
Something Clever vs Young Bloodz
This last matchup was the second closest of this week of ass-beatings. Jared rolled out Andrew Luck, who looks to have recovered enough from two years of shoulder rehab to throw quick passes to tight ends. Todd Gurley is going to win NFL MVP, quarterbacks be damned. Mark Ingram is great in any game NOLA gets out to a big lead in. Anthony Miller, rookie, is catching wide open passes from the Biscuit with regularity now. Greg Zuerlein scored 12 points, presumably on XPs from Todd Gurley and the LAms. Let's see how Jared does without the Gurley Man in week 12.
Graham was wishing for Joe Horn III and almost came up with it. Michael Thomas, NOLA WR, had 70 yards and two touchdowns. This is almost as much yardage as he had on the one play that sparked a thousand old men on Facebook to talk about how much more respect there was in the league back in their day. Baker Mayfield may be a good QB after all, once that Hue Jackson stink comes all the way off. Saquon Barkley is LeVeon Bell without all of the pesky weed offences, terrible raps and holdout nonsense. 33 points out of your D/ST and kicker are pretty good as well. You just had bad luck in your matchup.
Final Score: Jared 148.2 (6-4) Graham 124.3 (6-4)
Week 11 Preview
Andy vs Kia
S+T vs Johnny
ET vs Jeremy
Troy vs Eric
Jordan vs Josh
Aaron vs Jared
Graham vs Bryan
Once again I consulted the playoff computer and this was the result:
All 2097152 remaining scenatios were analyzed. No possibility of tied games was considered.
No scenario in which a team with less than 5 wins got a wildcard spot was detected.
Team Synopsis
ADL (6-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 81%. Tie 15%.
Team Girl (7-3-0)...... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
B+P(7-3-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Kia (3-7-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Josh (3-7-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Jordan (3-7-0)..... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Bryan (3-7-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Jared (6-4-0)..... Wildcard odds: Clinch 81%. Tie 15%.
Jeremy (5-5-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 43%. Tie 35%.
Evil Tyler (6-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 81%. Tie 15%.
Graham (6-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 83%. Tie 14%.
Troy (5-5-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 43%. Tie 34%.
Johnny (3-7-0)..... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Eric (7-3-0)...... Wildcard odds: Clinch 96%. Tie 3%.
Upcoming round's PLAYOFF analysis
Aaron CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN
B+P CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN -AND- Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Troy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Andy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Jared LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Graham LOSS
Eric CLINCH a Playoff spot with: A WIN
So even the bottom feeders are not mathematically eliminated, but crunch time is upon us. The AFC East, Browns and SF are on bye this week so adjust your lineups accordingly. Prepare yourself for WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOar
A new member of PCOG also entered the league this week, as S̶o̶p̶h̶i̶a̶ ̶A̶n̶n̶ Chalupa Batgirl Brazil was born Friday. The PCOGNN reports that both mother and child are healthy, with enough safety that they were able to be discharged in time to watch the UGA football game Saturday. TO THE RECAP!
Andy Defamation League vs Chalupa Batgirl
I am so happy for Aaron and Jordan and Sophia Ann. I know for certain that their expanded family will have nothing but love and support in the Big House. Jordan got off to a hot start on the TNF nationally televised beatdown of the kitties by the STEELERS. Her FF MVP candidate, James Conner got off to a hot start against Carolina but ended up in the dreaded blue medical tent with a concussion. Dak Prescott had a heroic performance against the hated Iggles on SNF, accounting for two touchdowns in what will hopefully be a harbinger for the rest of the season. Jordan rolled the dice on a couple of other players, like Sony Michel, who came back from injury in a surprisingly awful performance for the Pats against the Titans (more on that later). Michel's struggles was representative for the rest of Jordan's starters, as DJax, DeDe, Larry Fitz and Evan Engram all scored <10FPTS. Other than the kicker.
That left little room for error. Such enemy production and skill would require the most keen analytical examination and savvy roster moves to counteract it. After all, when one's opponent is completely focused with zero new, squalling distractions, perfection is required.
MELVIN GOD-RON IS A BEAST!
https://twitter.com/Chargers/status/1061751791539240960
165 TOTAL YARDS AND A TOUCH FOR MY MAN! 32.5 BIIIIG FANTASY POINTS ON THE DAY!
TYREEK HILL, THAT DIMINUTIVE DOMESTIC ABUSER, RIPPED OFF TD AFTER TD AGAINST THE HAPLESS CARDINALS! IT HAS BEEN SAID FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE A PICTURE, AS IT WILL LAST LONGER. HE TOOK OVER THE WHOLE DAMN CAMERA IN CELEBRATION OF MY VICTORY!
https://streamable.com/rkurv
ROBERT WOODS IS MR RELIABLE! GEORGE KITTLE IS THE THIRD BEST FF TE ON THE PLANET! JOSH ADAMS IS THE BEST RB IN PHILLY, BUT THEIR IDIOT MORON HEAD COACH INSISTS ON CONTINUING TO USE A PAIR OF PINT SIZED JAGOFFS IN HIS STEAD, WHICH CERTAINLY CONTRIBUTED TO PHILLY'S LOSS AGAINST AMERICA'S TEAM!
I may have bought in a season too late on Tom Brady. 10 pathetic FPTS is a Dalton level showing, and not the league winner level that I traded away a starting RB for.
Final Score: Andy 136 (6-4) Jordan 135.9* (3-7)
TB4U+ME2 vs Evil Tyler's Lobos
Speaking of Tier 1 QBs who are inexplicably underperforming, A-A-Ron Rodgers is just barely a starter this year. 10th is not good enough for the 2nd round pick Johnny expended on him. Antonio Brown is a crafty, veteran who just finds ways of getting open despite perfect coverage (he pushed off like a motherfucker on this score)
https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1060722323576238082?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1060722323576238082&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2F247sports.com%2Fnfl%2Fcarolina-panthers%2FArticle%2FDonte-Jackson-furious-Antonio-Brown-push-off-124441356%2F
It still counts though. Jamaal Williams has zero no role anymore. Marlon Mack has begun his yearly see-saw between top tier and injury report. Kelvin Benjamin was on a team that scored 41 points, and recorded zero action. Jimmy Graham had one catch. Tyler Boyd is awesome when AJ Green draws the defense's attention, but falls short as the number one threat.
ET has the opposite problem. His team is firing on all cylinders, with Christian McCaffrey's month long explosion setting the pace. The Panthers as a whole may have struggled in Pittsburgh, but CMC was on his game. Jared Goff runs the LAms offense like a well tuned machine. And just as robotically, when they get to the red zone Gurley takes over, robbing Goff of the TDs he needs to be truly amazing. Tarik Cohen is the Bear's choice for first crack at RB carries. Mike Davis was, until Rashaad Penny trumped him with the first round pick Seattle used to secure him back in April. About the only facet that ET is lacking in is WRs. Cooper Kupp shredded everything in his knee that ends in CL on a non-contact cut on a route, and is done for the year. I wouldn't bet on him making much noise either, at least not until December. Golden Tate, newly minted Eagle, couldn't get on track against the stifling Dallas D. Even Travis Kelce had a down day (for him). Golladay looks like your best option, but with the series of turnstiles currently blocking for Matt Stafford I wouldn't want to rely on him either.
Final Score: ET 130.4 (6-4) Johnny 70.9 (3-7)
Don't Fournette About Me vs Salmon Pan
A flaxen-haired FF genius once wrote about the benefits of patience. Jeremy's was paid off, as Leonard Fournette nailed the final coffin in Carlos Hyde's fantasy value, once again becoming a football player instead of a patient. 31.4 FPTS propelled by 2340897 touches and two touchdowns almost bring the Jags back to relevance. Jordan Howard, who is like Fournette but not as good, can't replicate his idol's production or moves. Which is probably why the Bears go to Tarik 9873 more times a game than to Howard. New to Jeremy's team is Kerryon Johnson, who carries on with his splendid running under new management. JuJu caught Rapistburger's first pass for 75 yards and a TD.
https://streamable.com/701xs
He is really, really good. He is like a young Dez Bryant without the chronic knee issues and a pair of complete Achilles tendons. Speaking of, who needs Big Ben in your starting spot every week? I thought for sure it was just a goof, as you had traded Brady to me earlier in the week. Had you texted me early enough in the game, and if Troy was cool with it, I would have used my commissionarial powers for good and moved him into the slot. But instead you decided to throw caution and Kyle Rudolph to the wind IOT start Eli "I'm a Mouth Breather" Manning. I'm personally shocked he didn't fuck it up for you and blow the 10+ point lead you had on sacks and picks. Good looking out.
Troy came up one great player short against Jeremy. The Panthers scoring -5 on TNF does not help that particular algebraic problem. Carson Wentz was great when he passed to Ertz on SNF and only so-so on all other targets. David Johnson is paying great dividends for the faith you showed in him earlier this season, trading for him when his fantasy stock was at an all time nadir. Julio is 2/2 in scoring touchdowns when he does not belong to your wife this season. Here is a pro-tip: Trade for Kia's players and watch them turn to gold once they leave her blighted shores. Speaking of blasted and devastated climes, Oakland is awful. Terrible. A laughing stock who is on the path to a long rebuild, which will be helped by the bevy of first round picks they have accrued in swindling trades this season. Doug Martin continues to not get the memo, as everyone else on that team has long since packed it in but he continues to put forth a foreign thing for the Silver and Black, "Effort". I applaud his dedication to duty and whatever team he will play for next year.
Final Score: Jeremy 128.5 (5-5) Troy 112.6 (5-5)
Welcoming the Sacko, as he richly deserves it vs Breasseale and Packer
Seth and Tyler have jointly run this team better than any two-owner team I have ever heard of. What is your secret? Long strategy sessions via Facetime? Lineup decisions via text message? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET? They took the hiding I rendered unto them last week to heart, as they deigned to start a kicker this week. Vinatieri put up 2 points. They didn't really need it though, as most of their other starters were outfuckingstanding this week. Nick Chubb galloped for 92 yards and a score against the Falcons on this play
https://streamable.com/sxfo1
He contributed 200+ total yards against Atlanta, probably killing their playoff dreams. ODB is back on track despite relying on the lesser Manning for his targets. Zach Ertz averaged 10+ yards per catch, had 14 of those and two touchdowns in a losing effort at home against Dallas.
Matt Brieda had ten days to recover from his crippling case of MPH, and cashed in for 33 against the Giants. Mike Evans is more confused than a tweenaged omnisexual pixiekin on Tumblr with his on again off again production. James White had a game script where one would think he would shine, catch up mode for the entire second half. But he was swamped by Tennessee defenders who routinely shucked him on their way to Tom Terrific. Football is weird.
Bryan had Zeke, and that's almost it.
Brandin Cooks will injury vulture half of Kupp's targets and had a pretty good day. Felipe Rios has yet to be challenged outside the KC game, and instead chooses to rest on his laurels instead of passing when the Bolts invariably get out to a double digit lead. Speaking of double digits, the Bungles, in their collective wisdom (they just brought the disgraced mastermind Hue Jackson onto their coaching staff), have apparently decided that their all-star RB is only good when the game is close. Even though he is an amazing pass catcher. Whatevs. Maurice Harris was the darling of every FF expert Waiver Wire column this week, and instead showed why he is never used in Washington despite their comically thin WR corps.
Final Score: BP 173.4 (7-3) Bryan 127.5 (3-7 [6Ls in a row])
Big Reid 1 vs Porkchop Please Help
This was a contest between consistency and wild variance in production. Eric had all 9 starters log double digit points, with Eric Ebron and his three touchdowns doing the heavy lifting for Tndy's TE only offense. Mahomes and Hunt came back to earth with "only" 34.3 between them. Multiple times this season that would have been a single game for just one of the red hot Chiefs. Adrian Peterson overcame age and OLine injuries with grit, determination, and staggering amounts of steroids. Davante Adams is the only predictable thing in GB other than blinding snow and calls for the head coach's head. Josh Gordon probably broke a finger on a deep target, and Amari Cooper broke Philly DB's ankles all throughout the second half of what turned out to be quite the game Sunday night.
Kia had a pair of great performers and several absolute duds. Drew Brees suffers from afluenza as the Saints are constantly up big, negating the need for him to throw. He still collected 29.4 FPTS in light work. LeSean McCoy was also a key part of a blowout, but he got consistent work throughout and had two touchdows as the Jets were shot down by Buffalo. Dion Lewis was vultured again by Derrick Henry on the goal line and should have had a better day. Jalen Richard was the only other player to approach double digits, which leaves Kia coming up short.
Final Score: Eric 138 (7-3) Kia 104.6 (3-7)
TaubenTime 4.0 vs Team Good Guess
I don't understand how Josh's team didn't do better. Derrick Henry rolled into the endzone twice, Allen Robinson had 100+ yards and a touchdown, and Keenan Allen should be starting his second half explosion any day now. It really all came down to Cam Newton: The Panthers were one of the hottest teams in the league headed into Pitt and were shellacked by the Steelers. Usually having an excellent QB in garbage time is quite the fantasy feast, as Cam and the Panthers have shown several times this year in come from behind victories. But the Steelers put such a beating on Cam that he was eventually pulled in the fourth fo his own protection. It was refreshing to see a quarterback actually protected while running in a Panthers game, but instead it was Captain FatFuck who earned the flag on this "run"
https://gfycat.com/KeyDirectBengaltiger
Aaron didn't let a little thing like becoming a new father get in the way of fantasy domination. Once again he was powered by an agile RB, but this week it was Aaron Jones rather than Kamara to get the big points. 74.3 out of three running backs is excellent any week. Blake Bortles contributed 27.1 as the Jags lost whatever trace of mojo they had last year, but it wasn't hsi fault this time. Instead the defense collapsed throughout the first half against the Stanford Colts. Julian Edelman got 16.1 FPTS and an ankle booboo, Mohamed Sanu is a JAG, and Jared Cook has fallen waaaay off of his early season production.
Final Score: Aaron 148.3 (7-3) Kia 104.8 (3-7)
Something Clever vs Young Bloodz
This last matchup was the second closest of this week of ass-beatings. Jared rolled out Andrew Luck, who looks to have recovered enough from two years of shoulder rehab to throw quick passes to tight ends. Todd Gurley is going to win NFL MVP, quarterbacks be damned. Mark Ingram is great in any game NOLA gets out to a big lead in. Anthony Miller, rookie, is catching wide open passes from the Biscuit with regularity now. Greg Zuerlein scored 12 points, presumably on XPs from Todd Gurley and the LAms. Let's see how Jared does without the Gurley Man in week 12.
Graham was wishing for Joe Horn III and almost came up with it. Michael Thomas, NOLA WR, had 70 yards and two touchdowns. This is almost as much yardage as he had on the one play that sparked a thousand old men on Facebook to talk about how much more respect there was in the league back in their day. Baker Mayfield may be a good QB after all, once that Hue Jackson stink comes all the way off. Saquon Barkley is LeVeon Bell without all of the pesky weed offences, terrible raps and holdout nonsense. 33 points out of your D/ST and kicker are pretty good as well. You just had bad luck in your matchup.
Final Score: Jared 148.2 (6-4) Graham 124.3 (6-4)
Week 11 Preview
Andy vs Kia
S+T vs Johnny
ET vs Jeremy
Troy vs Eric
Jordan vs Josh
Aaron vs Jared
Graham vs Bryan
Once again I consulted the playoff computer and this was the result:
All 2097152 remaining scenatios were analyzed. No possibility of tied games was considered.
No scenario in which a team with less than 5 wins got a wildcard spot was detected.
Team Synopsis
ADL (6-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 81%. Tie 15%.
Team Girl (7-3-0)...... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
B+P(7-3-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 97%. Tie 2%.
Kia (3-7-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Josh (3-7-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Jordan (3-7-0)..... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Bryan (3-7-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Jared (6-4-0)..... Wildcard odds: Clinch 81%. Tie 15%.
Jeremy (5-5-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 43%. Tie 35%.
Evil Tyler (6-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 81%. Tie 15%.
Graham (6-4-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 83%. Tie 14%.
Troy (5-5-0).... Wildcard odds: Clinch 43%. Tie 34%.
Johnny (3-7-0)..... Wildcard odds: Clinch 0.1%. Tie 7%.
Eric (7-3-0)...... Wildcard odds: Clinch 96%. Tie 3%.
Upcoming round's PLAYOFF analysis
Aaron CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN
B+P CLINCH a Playoff spot with:
A WIN -AND- Jeremy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Troy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Andy LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Jared LOSS ; OR
A WIN -AND- Graham LOSS
Eric CLINCH a Playoff spot with: A WIN
So even the bottom feeders are not mathematically eliminated, but crunch time is upon us. The AFC East, Browns and SF are on bye this week so adjust your lineups accordingly. Prepare yourself for WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOar
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