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Week 2 Recap

Week 2 has brought balance to the PCOG. Three 2-0 teams emerged, with three 0-2 teams lagging behind and eight 1-1 teams vie for prominence. It is of course better to start off with a hot beginning as Eric, Graham and Aaron have, but by no means is anyone out of contention. For instance, one team began last season red hot at 4-0 with the most points scored. That idiot moron ended up missing the playoffs entirely, a ghastly result that was only partially salved by earning over a thousand dollars in another league that nobody cares about. The only advice one could give to those not currently undefeated is to continue to work your terrible team, anything can happen in Fantasy Football. To the Recap!

Someone Short vs Birmingham Blinders

Melvin Gordon beat the Bills all by himself. The Chargers wisely sat him for most of the second half against Josh Allen's second career JUCO team. While he did collect three TDs, I would have really appreciated some more yardage. Call me greedy. Speaking of greed, Tyreek "Cheetah Speed" Hill finally woke up in the second half of a shootout in the Steel City. We've all seen what destruction he can wreak when properly utilized for a full game, exemplified by the business end of this laser from Mahomes

The rest of my team was very meh. Four starting slots contributed 14.9 FPTS, which is simply not good enough in this deep and competitive league.

Ryan Fucking FitzMagic is the second coming of Peyton Goddamn Manning. He leads the league in yards, yards per attempt, yards per game and is tied for longest pass (and had two more 75 yard TDs this week). He is the epitome of #beardballin



https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/1041378718202126336

Thank god that Jared was too busy studying his cameltry to bother start him. 38.2 FPTS left to rot on the bench has got to sting. Luckily for opposing counsel, his massive scoregasm was not required to dispatch team FUKN. Todd Gurley's first half heroics (three TDs) paced all RBs for the week. Good job on the first overall pick. TJ Yeldon was a poor imitation of Fournette but still racked up double digit FPTS. The Luck to Hilton combo was also productive, with 29.7 FPTS through the air. I am more and more coming around to the idea that the QB/WR stack is a great way to build one's team. Sammy Watkins was the only chief this side of Sitting Bull to not score against the laughable Steeler's defense this week but still garnered over 100 total yards. Evan Engram collected the winning points against Dallas in garbage time on MNF.




Final Score: Jared130.1 (1-1) Andy 112.3 (1-1)

First or last.. Back 2 Back <@:> vs TaubenTime 4.0

Tyler started his title defense with a definite thud last week, only to rebound this week with 133.6 big points. Run CMC is more of a pass catching CMC ( currently has 22 receptions vs 20 rushing attempts this year) but is a firm starting RB in his second year. 23.9 FPTS in a come-from-behind attempt in Atlanta came up just short for the Panthers but helped earn a win for Tyler. Travis Kelce bounced back nicely from a squadoosh in week one with 27.4 FPTS in Week 2, buoyed by two TDs. Phillip Lindsay, waiver wire darling of Week 1, broke loose for this long touchdown that resulted in most of his points for the week.

https://www.denverbroncos.com/video/phillip-lindsay-breaks-free-for-a-53-yard-gain

Golden Tate and Jimmy G played against each other in the NFL but together in the PCOG. Most of their production occured in a wild second half that had the Lions come back from double digits down. Together they accrued 31 FPTS.

Josh's team is lead by Cam Newton, the running back with the most passing yards and interceptions in league history. Once again he was treated as a RB by opposing defenses, suffering this clearly dirty hit that lead to the ejection of the flagged Falcon.

Somehow Cam "cleared" the NFL's concussion protocol to remain in the game, yielding 32.9 FPTS in a losing effort in Atlanta. Nelson Aghodor




continued his come back from career death. The once bust first round pick of Philadelphia contributed 19.3 FPTS, but as we all know, when one goes against FitzMagic, one's results will inevitably be FitzTragic. Speaking of tragic and already dead, David Johnson is being hamstrung by the putrid performances around him in the desert. Let's all pour one out for the should be production of a recently very rich man.

Final Score: Tyler 133.6 (1-1) Shirtless Josh 106.1 (0-2)

Breasseale and Packer vs Fresh Tips

The very cleverly named Rachel's boys bet big on Matt Breida being the McKinnon replacement, and he showed up huge on this long run against the Lions

https://streamable.com/qhilr

34.2 FPTS for the week was only bested by the Gurley Man. James White continues to catch passes from Brady as the only reliable option in the Pat's backfield. Mike Evans now has an appreciable QB slinging darts at him in the Fitzpatrick, and Zach Ertz had a pretty good day for a TE. About the only starter that didn't produce numbers was OBJ. The Cowboy Killer himself was held to four catches for 51 yards against Dallas. Both of you two and Eli are wondering how this traditionally juicy matchup didn't have better results.




Troy is understandably distracted from FF this year, due to personal tragedy. That being said, your team sucks balls. About the only player that was worth anything is the impeccable DeAndre Hopkins (21 FPTS). Derrick Henry should have had a big day, with his team nursing a double digit lead, for a team starting Blaine Gabbert in place of Mariota. How does he only get 18 carries? So weird. Jay Ajayi left the TB game with a back injury, only to come back and score a TD. Keenan Allen's majesty and injury history was benched in the Buffalo blowout, leaving Troy wanting more.

Final Score: S+T 117.7 (1-1) Troy 75.5 (0-2)

Big Ried 1 vs Hyde n Zeke

I've been looking forward to this for years. None of the rest of you, unless you've had the misfortune of sharing Bryan's living room as these two retards try their hands at Madden, have not had to listen to the screeching and nonsensical rambling that go along with two of my brothers talking about football. This was absolutely perfect. Eric, the homer fuck that he is, bet big on the Chiefs this year. Bryan, battered former San Diego fan, is not quite as leveraged but still trots out Felipe Rios as his starter at QB.




We will start with the PCOG FNG. HOLY DOGSHIT BATMAN, PATRICK MAHOMES MAKES RYAN FITZPATRICK LOOK LIKE THE SCRUB JOURNEYMAN HE IS AT HIS BEARDED CORE. Mahomes, the rocket armed dick swinger in (KC) Chief, has ten (10!!!) passing touchdowns in the first two games. That breaks Peyton Goddamn Manning's record from 2013, the same season he broke the single season record for passing scores with 55. Mahomes is on pace to throw 80 such strikes this year.






Kareem Hunt finally got in on the action, muscling in a short screen for a receiving score from the Red Devil. Davante Adams and Amari Cooper totaled 34 FPTS, more than making up for Adrian Peterson remembering that he is 3349623984 years old and only scoring 9.3 FPTS for Washington. To put the cherry on top, the Chicago Khalilasar led by Khal Mack devastated the Seahawks and Russell Wilson, sacking him 6 times and gathering up four turnovers for 21 juicy points.

Bryan was sunk not by poor performances but by ones that were not complete. Sr. Rios compiled 22.5 FPTS, most of which were in the first half. Joe Mixon continued his excellent play against the Ravens, but was in and out of the game with a knee. He had a scope on Friday and will be out for the next two weeks. In the same game, Alex Collins was in and out of the lineup in strange moves by Baltimore. Greg the Leg Zuerlien hurt his wittle weg in warmups, leading to the punter attempting field goals and Gurley going for two (thanks for that). Demaryius caught five passes on 11 targets, which is good, but only for 18 yards, which sucks. Gronk could not smash against Jacksonville. Even with a perfect lineup Bryan would have come up just short, but that is what he deserves for jumping out of airplanes at 200+ pounds for half a decade.

Final Score: Eric 146.7 (1-1) Bryan 107.3 (1-1)

Young Bloodz vs JJJJulio

That Cracker Graham's squad of up and comers put such a beating on Kia that she will probably attend a march in D.C. wearing a weird football hat. Deshaun Watson, formerly the best young QB in the game, had 24 FPTS with the return of Will Fuller the Fifth. Saquon Barkley caught a bajillion passes for no yards against Dallas. Michael Thomas set a new record for receptions through two games with 28. Brandin Cooks was robbed of a wide open TD grab in the only effort that Arizona expended in LA except for DJ.

Kia had a couple of huge plays this week. Ben Rapistburger had over 300 yards passing in the first half of the firefight in Pittsburgh, and capped his day off with this rushing TD

https://www.steelers.com/video/highlight-roethlisberger-scramble-for-3-yard-td

Stefon Diggs caught this deep pass and the subsequent 2 point conversion to tie this game up in the fourth quarter

https://streamable.com/uj6cv

Other than Bilal Powell's "good" game against the suddenly stiff Miami D/ST, there is nothing much to comment on other than Kia's bad luck. her score this week would have beat 10/14 of the PCOF teams this week.

Final Score Graham 156.9 (2-0) Kia 141.1 (1-1)

Don't Fournette About Me vs This Buds for u And I'll take 2

The closest game of the week (Winning margin .5 FPTS) came down to consistency over erratic production. Johnny had no (0) players score over 20 FPTS, and was paced by Aaron Rodgers in a horrible matchup against Minny. His Packer stack came away with 44% of his weekly scoring. Antonio Brown was seemingly the only WR on the field who didn't tear it all the way up, and had a predictable hissy fit on the sidelines. Jeremy had one notable peak (JuJu, who scored 25.6 FPTS in the same game) and Tom Brady in an even worse predicament than A-A-Ron. But subpar scoring sunk his battleship this week, leaving him just short.

Final Score: Johnny 91.4 (1-1) Jeremy 90.9 (1-1)

Team Girl vs Chalupa Batman

How sweet Fantasy Football is. In what other endeavor can a loving couple, about to welcome another fucking Packer fan into the world, clash and collide yet still remain bound by the vows of holy matrimony? In what other instance can one Green Bay Pecker fan cheer as the Vikings march up and down the field in the fourth quarter, slashing around and through the "defense" of his favorite team? In PCOG of course! Kirk Cousins and Adam Thielen had an outstanding day in the land of cheese and ties, earning 65.1 FPTS and high blood pressure in the Brazil's formerly tiny household. AJ Green started the week off with a bang, scoring three touchdowns in 17 minutes against the D/ST that Aaron started. Such wonderful schadenfreude is just beautiful. Alvin Kamara continues to be a deadly receiver and so-so running back, and Tevin Coleman filled in nicely for Devonta Freeman. Pierre Garcon should have earned mega points for the blocks the sprung Philip Lindsay in an earlier highlight, but this is merely fantasy and not real Football.

When Jordan traded in a fit of maternal madness for DeSean Jackson, I laughed out loud at the prospect of FitzMagic continuing and used my Commissioner's powers to approve the trade. Imagine my horror at the first play of the TB-Philly game when Jackson ripped off another 75 yard TD!

https://streamable.com/ztnd2

Alas, D-Jax was the only big hitter for Jordan this week. Marshawn continues to BeastMode for the dumpster fire about to move to Vegas, and Tyler Lockett is only acceptable as Russell Wilson's #2 weapon in Seattle. James Conner, the jewel of Week 1, came back to earth this week and only scored 19 FPTS. If you are going to rely on Jackson, please put Fuller V in your lineup as well. He is the same player with less mileage and an even streakier QB.

Final Score Aaron 162.8 (2-0) Jordan 103.4 (0-2)

Week 3 Preview
Bar owner vs Bar Technician: Johnny (1-1) vs Andy (1-1)
Parasitical Twin vs Shortest Brother: Troy (0-2) vs Jared (1-1)
Feel the Vivance: Bryan (1-1) vs Josh (0-2)
Protest vs Patriarchy: Kia (1-1) vs Tyler H (1-1)
Motherhood vs Armed Brotherhood: Jordan (0-2) vs S+TP (1-1)
Running Back vs Throwing Back: Jeremy (1-1) vs Eric (1-1)
Peanut's Daddy vs Freedom's Daddy: Aaron (2-0) vs Graham (2-0)

Hurricane Florence has come and gone, with all of us emerging safe and soaked. Let's all be thankful that this storm that could have been so much worse gave us a pass, and prepare because if another one hit's the Pines I will be on one of your couches with The Best Vito Puppy in tow. Winter is Coming.

Week 1 Recap

The Church of the National Football League had it's first service of the year, and I personally did not enjoy the sermon at all. The Cowboys are horrid and I am now actively rooting for Dallas to lose 14-15 games so we can finally be rid of the Clapper 




Miss a field goal? Fumble the ball away? Inexplicably keep your job because your gum smacked lips are glued firmly to the ass of Zombie Jerry Jones? 






Dallas is going to suck out loud this year. While that means personal sorrow for me, that means fantasy suckage for all of you. Every time Dallas is dogshit I wreak havoc in FF. So pretend to work for the next 25ish minutes at your place of employment, because the 2018 PCOG season is off and running! TO THE RECAP! 




Week 1

Birmingham Blinders vs Washed up Wreckage 

A matchup that tied 
https://www.google.com/search?q=pittsburgh+vs+cleveland&oq=pittsburgh+vs+clev&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.10223j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#sie=m;/g/11hdb0yrgt;6;/m/059yj;dt;fp;1 

for the closest game of the week (1.2 FPTS margin of victory) was blown wide open by the greatest living American, Tyreek Hill (37.3 FPTS) 




Given the majesty that is the fastest kid on the planet, I would like to immediately propose a change in our scoring format. Wherein, special teams plays should rightly contribute to our games instead of having to rely on the D/ST to score those points. For instance, if a certain unnamed player ripped off an 80+ yard punt return for a TD, leaving countless (11) hapless slappys flopping in the wake of his greatness, I believe that those contributions should be reflected in his/her/xur fantasy output. 
The rest of my team was ok, paced by my two first round picks in Dalvin Cook and Melvin Gordon (42.4 combined FPTS). This game was still up in the air leading to the MNF tilts, and Team FUKN was almost derailed by the re-emergence of Matt Stafford's pickiness. 4 fucking interceptions cut his production in half, and I was only saved by the grace of Detroit's coaching decision to bench the third highest paid QB in the league with 8+ minutes to go in the game. Often FF games are decided on the edge of a knife, and if Stafford had thrown one more pick or had been sacked three more times I would have tested my knife on my own wrists. 

Tyler and Seth were excoriated in the post draft article and very nearly made me eat my own words. The zero RB strategy that was dismissed as "Baffling" by an unknown ghost writer yielded gigantic dividends in Week 1. OBJ, Evans and Landry racked up 61.1 FPTS in a series of thrilling games. Good luck relying on the fruits of Fitzmagic, Tyrod "I'm gonna hold onto the Ball" Taylor and the Best Remaining Manning for production for your studs. James White, and Brieda, who were described as not even starting, also created acceptable FF output. I'm sure someone will attempt to trade-rape you guys in the next few weeks. 

Final Score: Andy 125.1 (1-0), Tyler and Seth 123.9 (0-1)


TaubenTime 4.0 vs Big Reid 1 

Continuing the trend of close games, Eric and Shirtless Josh clashed in a very close game. Josh had a very good lineup, with only one player that scored in a subpar manner (Greg Olson, who rebroke his foot from last year and will miss at least a month). Cam Newton (20 FPTS) broke the all time QB rushing TD record against Dallas 




with that second half scamper. His career thus far can be best summed up as he also leads the league in RB interceptions thrown. David Johnson came back from an early injury last year, and had a good day against the Washington Thinskins. Randall Cobb, who almost got cut for cap reasons in the preseason, helped to save the Pack on Sunday night with a catch-up performance resulting in 28.7 FPTS. Josh's early selection of the Vikings D/ST seems to be a pretty good decision, as they beat up Jimmy G to the tune of three picks, three sacks, a forced fumble and a pick six. 

Speaking of QBs with limited starting experience AND selections that were criticized, Patrick Mahomes is a QB god. 4 touchdown passes on 27 attempts is probably not sustainable, but as long as he keeps chucking bombs to Tyreek he is good in my book. Adrian Beatshisson, Washington legend, looked great in a revenge game against his old team in Arizona. Davante Adams also contributed to that comeback attempt against Eric's Bear's D/ST. Kareem Hunt strangely did not offer much in the offensive explosion against San Diego/Los Angeles/Orange County, but he was better than Amari Cooper going against the twin titans that the Rams start at CB. Nice job popping your PCOG cherry against a former Champ of this league. 

Final Score: Eric 133.2 (1-0), Josh 131.7 (0-1)


Last or First.. Back 2 Back :"{ vs Young Bloodz 

Tyler sucks at FF. He had the worst scoring output of any team in the PCOG. His pathetic gaggle of "players" featured a 0 FPT, a 1.1 FPT and two 8s. Marquise Goodwin is a typical track guy, who suffered a boo-boo and will be out at least 27 weeks until he feels 100% again. Jimmy G's bad day in Minny has already been detailed. Golden Tate contributed well in garbage time against the suddenly juggeriffic Jets and Run-CMC found little room against the stifling Dallas D. Tyler sucks and should retire from FF. 

Graham bet big on several unproven players, starting with Saquon My Name Barkley. The Cracker's first round pick exploded against the very tough Jax D/ST for this beaut of a 68 yard TD in his first NFL experience 

Michael Thomas caught 16! passes in a laugher against the Buccs. That same game "produced" -7 FPTS for the Saints D/ST as they were absolutely strafed by Fitzmagic. Kenyan Drake shared the load with the ancient and calcified Frank Gore in a game that kicked off at 1 PM EST and did not end until after 8 due to lighting and the general indifference of football fans everywhere. Doug Baldwin tore up his other knee and is done for months. Trey Burton, hero of the SB in the Philly Philly play to beat the Pats, caught 1/6 passes from the Biscuit. ALL HAIL GRAHAM, HE WHO SHOWS THAT TYLER IS INDEED MORTAL. A grateful PCOG nation salutes you sir. 

Final Score: Graham 96.5 (1-0) Tyler 76.3 (l0l-1)

Something Clever vs Don't Fournette About Me 

Jeremy, 2017 Sacko, set out to not repeat in a victorious effort. IDK if relying on Isaiah Crowell is a weekly winner though. He had a monstrous 32.7 FPTS against the _etroit Lions _/ST, mainly on a garbage time long TD run that Stephen Hawking's corpse could have motored through in his wheelchair that was being remotely controlled by Michael J Fox on a bad MS day. Tom Brady had an alright day against Houston, but that left diminutive Drew Bree's and his gigundous production on the bench. Have fun agonizing over who to start between those two passing legends every week. Jeremy's team name is derived from his first round pick, who has already broken the injury seal this year. I'm sure TJ Yeldon will be the top WW pickup this week. I hope you haven't fournetten about your RB depth behind the beast from the Southeast. JuJu had a long should have been TD. Maybe next year if he does more sprints in the offseason and less FortNite he will break that same play for the TD. 

Jared continued his streak from the 2017 College Football Championship game. Relying on a Georgia star (Gurley II, 29.7 FPTS) for outrageous production only to fall just short of the ultimate goal. The Luck/TY combo generated 33.8 FPTs for the Campbell Cameltoe, and Rex Burkhead ran for almost a dozen points against Houston. I hope you are not patient enough to hold on to Ingram. If you get desperate, hit up ol' Uncle Andy. 

Final Score: Jeremy 124.7 (1-0) Jared 104.9 (0-1)

Fresh Tips vs Team Girl 

Aaron ended this NFL week very conflicted. His beloved Quarterpacker looked to have suffered a serious knee injury, but game back in a win. Good luck protecting him against the fierce Vikings pass rush. It's not like a game vs Minny has ever resulted in a bad outcome for a QB who relies on mobility to extend plays when he is currently nursing a bum wing. But, BUT, Aaron's FF QB is a beast. Kirk/Kurt/Kurd Cousins and Adam Thielen looked to be the NFL's next big combo, as they produced huge numbers against the 4-9ers. Marshawn Lynch looked to regain his form against a tough LA Lams D/ST, AJ Green dropped one TD and had a fumble but still came out with 16.2 FPTS. Jared Fucking Cook turned a matchup advantage into a true Gruden Grinder. 180 receiving yards may be what he gets in the next 15 games. But the true star of Aaron's team is Alvin Kamara. He may have only had 29 yards on the ground but scorched Tampa for 112 through the air, with three combined TDs along the way. All told Aaron had the highest output in PCOG this week, and looks to have a completely stacked squad. 

Troy was outclassed this week. Keenan Allen had a great day, with 108 yards and a TD against KC. Russell Wilson had good production against in a hostile environment at Mile High, despite losing his best weapon. Jay Ajayi had a good opening salvo on Thursday night against Atlanta, with two rushing TDs creating most of his production. The rest of Troy's team was nondescript though. FF is not a sprint, but a long, long marathon. You have a good team who just ran into a buzzsaw. 

Final Score: Aaron 169.3 (1-0) Troy 120.1 (0-1)

Hyde n Zeke vs This Buds for u And I'll Take 2 

Johnny MoCo ran into a natural disaster this week, and Hurricane Florence hasn't even made landfall yet. We've already talked about Rodgers, his injury and production (27.2 FPTS) Emmanuel Sanders had a great game against Seattle, and Antonio Brown didn't let the shitty conditions keep him down. No one else did much of anything though. Here is a free tip: you can safely drop Kelvin Benjamin. I want butt AIDS more than I want any part of the Buffalo passing game. 

Speaking of disasters, Bryan has turned the national drama unfolding in Pittsburgh into fantasy gold. James Conner had 36 touches in a huge game against Cleveland, producing 41.5 FPTS. Phillip Rivers should have had an even huger game against KC, but Travis Benjamin and Tyrell Williams have way more speed than they have hands. Zeke struggled as the only bright point for Dallas' offense, but still collected a TD to make his day. Gronk continues to smash. I am very unhappy with how good your team looks. 

Final Score: Bryan 168.3 (1-0) Johnny 112.1 (0-1)

Julio!Julio!JU-LI-OOOOOO!! vs Chalupa Batman 

Kia kicked off the FF season with a bang. Her team's namesake should have had over 200 yards but had a very questionable review go against him. Dion Lewis made Derrick Henry owners very nervous with his excellent production in a shared backfield. Stefon Diggs may have had the prettiest catch of the week for his TD, and Jordan Reed looked great before he inevitably falls apart. 

Jordan has the "QB" that Reed relies on, and Alex Smith showed well for Washington. Joe Mixon is a full grown man who will no doubt be the centerpiece of Mrs. Breasseale's team. Larry Fitz, Demaryius and Tyler Lockett all had good but not great production as a WR corps. Lockett especially may excel as a beneficiary of the Baldwin injury. All in all, this game tied 




for the closest game of the week. 

Final Score: Kia 117.5 (1-0) Jordan 116.7 (0-1)


Week 2 Preview

Beer Guys Battle: Andy 1-0 vs Jared 0-1
#14 against the Topless Wonder: Tyler l0l-1 vs Josh 0-1
Rachel's guys against Kia's Bottom Bitch: Seth/Tyler 0-1 vs Troy 0-1
Raider Haters: Bryan 1-0 vs Eric 1-0
Sonny's Sisters: Kia 1-0 vs Graham 1-0
Last year's Sacko against last year's spectator: Jeremy 1-0 vs Johnny 0-1
Domestic Violence: Aaron 1-0 vs Jordan 1-0 

Hurricanes are one thing. Fantasy Football is another. Everyone on the eastern side of the state stay safe and dry. Foul weather is just another indicator that Winter is Coming and the PCOG is back.

2016 Week 1

Finally. After long months, our long national nightmare is over and the NFL reigns supreme over our lives once again. With the return of football comes the agonizing over your favorite team's contest, warring with the desire that your fantasy teams do well. Individuals may choose to avoid such conflicts of interest, or instead embrace and accept the fact that oft times one finds oneself rooting against one's favorite team. To put it simply: 




I must apologize for the tardiness of this week's article. A severe thunderstorm knocked out internet service to my apartment complex, and some of the scatological references contained herein were not appropriate to look up on a public, university provided computer. But now, for that moment you've all been waiting for: 

TO THE RECAP! 



Week 1

The Snicklefitzmeister vs What can Brown do for me? 



Tyler sucks at fantasy football. He is on a two game (cross-season) losing streak, and should probably just pack it in and not adjust his lineup for the rest of the year. His team performed admirably and in fact would have beaten every single PCOG team this week, except the one that he was actually matched up against. Luck was in the air when he wasn't reduced to a grease spot on the Lion's home turf, racking up 37.3 FPTS. TJ Yeldon took advantage of Chris Ivory's sudden and mysterious hospitalization to punch in a short yardage score against the Pack. Larry Fitzgerald was a full grown man in a valiant effort against the Brady-less Pats, with his 24.1 FPTS setting the standard for the Week 1 PCOG FLEX position. He wisely streamed a D/ST (the Iggles) against the hapless Browns. About the only player to not seriously cash in this week was Brandon Marshall, who always starts the season slow. Allow this nugget of wisdom to soothe your aggrieved heart against the vagaries of fickle Fantasy 



Fatherhood agrees with Bryan. Perhaps it is the new responsibility of shepherding a innocent, fragile life through what promises to be a loving future. Perhaps time spent in a pediatrician's waiting room lent itself to FF research or mock drafting. Whatever the reason is, wow. Bryan fully leveraged the short term tendencies of NFL front offices in their approach to that most short lived of positions, RB. Perhaps his ball carrying behemoths will not trample opposition all 16 weeks of the season, as their respective front runners are due back within the month. But until that day comes, you had better ride Spencer Ware and DeAngelo Williams. 73.8 combined FPTS easily bested any other team's production at the position. Cam Newton is treated as an RB by the league's referees 




yet still tallied 22.4 FPTS. Formerly Orange Julius reverted back to his red zone patrolling ways, lancing in for a quick score against GB. There were a pair of disappointments but they were overshadowed by Hingle McCringleberry 




I mean Antonio Brown 




Everyone knows that more than two pumps earns you the flag. It is being erroneously reported that he was "twerking", when in fact it was clearly an homage to that dearly departed show. Either way he garnered 29.6 FPTS and put the pussy on the chainwax. 




Final Score: Tyler 147.3 (0-1) Bryan 174.6 (1-0)

Cheese Heads vs TaubenTime 2.0 

Shirtless Josh began his defense of the Chopper 




against the 2015 winner, A-A-ron. His back to back effort commenced with a meh effort by the best D/ST from last year, the Denver Broncos. They only totaled 6 measly FPTS on 2016's opening night, but this did not bring the former FNG down. Ben Rapistburger torched the Washington Racists' defense repeatedly Monday Night and totaled 23.6 FPTS. Donte Moncrief just might be the Colt's WR to own this year; and he and new Lion Marvin Jones helped to contribute to the track meet in the Motor City. Speaking of track meets, nary a defense was to be found in NOLA as the Saints and Raiders squared off. Latavius Murray punched it in but was outclassed by Brandin Cooks' devastation of the Raiders secondary. This long score was the longest in Saints history. He is still running. 



A-A-Ron's fantasy hopes ran aground against the rocky shores of injury and ineptitude this week. Adrian Peterson once again started the year off with a whimper instead of a bang, earning only 31 yards on 19 carries. Sammy Watkins' foot has been a red flag since the day he left Clemson in a blaze of underachieving Tiger football. The Cardinals D/ST had a dream matchup, deployed against a Brady-less, Gronk-less, and light on the O-Line New England team, but could only deliver 7 paltry points. Señor Rios was hamstrung when Keenan Allen tragically went down with a non-contact ACL tear. Ancient Frank Gore was somewhat of a bright spot, contributing 13.3 FPTS from the FLEX position. All in all, a near TRADITION!! (margin of victory 50+ FPTS) day to forget for Porkchop and Olive's dad. Welcome back to the East Coast cuz! 

Final Score: Aaron 97.3 (0-1) Josh 141.9

Broncos Glue Factory vs Publix Enemy PE 16 

Jeremy, FNGuy and home for once and future Cowboy's RBs, welcome to the PCOG. I write these articles as a labor of love, carrying on a tradition from the first year of the PCOG when I (as one of only two members in a ten team league who had any FF experience at all) started 0-7 and making dick related football jokes at the expense of my beloved friends was the only thing that kept me interested in the week to week goings on in the PCOG. I try and include at least one related game highlight, FF meme or funny gif in each owner's section of the recap. Usually this weekly football edition of Dr Zhivago comes out on Tuesdays, but life and atmospheric electrical discharges got in the way. Hope you have a thick skin bud. 

Wow, who invited this loser? Who starts Dez Bryant against an All-Star Giants secondary when he relies on a fourth round Rookie QB in his first NFL start to deliver the inevitably overthrown ball. Probably the same guy who felt that a rare Green Bay free agent (TE Jared Cook) would perform well in a hugely complex passing attack that takes years to learn. Have fun chasing Jameis' bench riding performance over the next month as he struggles against top level defenses. DeMarco Murray had a good game against a stout defense, and Ezekiel Elliot was disappointing as a bell cow back in his Dallas debut. Rashad Jennings embarked on his yearly race against the injury bug, while also bowling over outmatched Cowboys tacklers. 

Seriously, nice effort to get the score 


Speaking of scoring in that game, Minnesota's defense contributed two scoop and scores against the putrid Titans. This poor decision helped to contribute to Eric Kendricks' Defensive Player of the Week award. 



Troy relied on a triple pack of high scoring RBs, with David Johnson, LeSean McCoy and Ameer Abdullah scoring a combined 67.7 FPTS. With this week's injury news, your work is not yet complete. Sammy Watkins' (Tyrod's #1 target) foot is made of glass and glass is made of Jordan Reed's lower body. Have fun scouring the waiver wire for suitable replacements. Dan Bailey's thunderous right leg contributed 17 FPTS on four FGs (two of over 50 yards) and single extra point. He is my favorite kicker! 

Final Score: FNGuy 109.5 (0-1) Troy 135.2 (1-0)

Funkin New Girl vs Baltimore Blitz 

Kia, all of the stuff I wrote to Jeremy half applies to you, as you read all of my articles last year as the brains behind Troy's almost SACKO earning performance. If you need a wedding cake cupcake tester/ uninvolved dog sitter, you have my number. 

This performance was so mediocre 




it is barely worth excoriating. Doug Baldwin continued his touchdown scoring ways from the second half of last year in a very boring game. Alshon Jeffery is good when he actually plays, have fun finding a last minute soft tissue issue related replacement around 9 times this year. Devonta Freeman, a flash in the pan from last season, may have won Shirtless Josh a championship but wilted in the illegally amplified crowd noise in Atlanta. Delanie Walker will spend 99% of his time run blocking this year in the "Exotic Smashmouth" 

[image]http://img.pandawhale.com/117248-dr-evil-air-quotes-gif-Imgur-l-Tk6R.gif/image] 

offense that will earn two Tennessee victories and zero Music City Miracles. Carson Palmer looks to be suffering from classic Delhomme Syndrome, typified by tossing innumerable interceptions in an NFC Championship game and being stuck in a rut for all of the next season. Mark Ingram is pretty good, but his ankles/shoulders/overall HP has a shelf life shorter than grocery food sushi. 




Graham Cracker's move to Winterfell, capital of the North, reflects his choice of team name. I think. Who really knows with this kid. Speaking of poor decisions, Gary Barnidge collected 0 FPTS on none yards from no catches. Understandable though, as he was relying on RGKnee to deliver ducks while unsuccessfully dodging coracoid crunching pass rushers in the form of Fletcher Cox. He was the one who ended Tony's season last year, so I feel your pain. 



On the positive side, another man's recent move north worked out well for you. I certainly thought Matt Forte (23.5 FPTS) was donezo after a decade of hard work for the Chicago Bears. Chan Gailey is an offensive wizard though and will keep his new Jet fueled up with passes out of the backfield and absolutely no goal line rushing attempts. His replacement in the Windy City scored 17.6 FPTS despite his QB being Jay Cutler. A-A-Ron Rodgers 




didn't blow the roof off of the Jaguars but did make yet another pinpoint accurate TD pass with a defender draped all over him. The Jets D/ST totaled 7 sacks against the Bengals but somehow only 12 points. Congratulations on a victory that would not have beat any other Week 1 PCOG winner. 

Final Score FNGirl 109.2 (0-1) Graham 118.5 (1-0)

SCLSU Mud Dogs vs Perpetuating Dumpster Fire
GAME OF THE WEEK 

Hi, I'm Andy Hutton, Commissioner of the PCOG and RB enthusiast. From time to time, my devotion to this position ensures that my lineup is an infuriating Gordian Knot of football fortune telling and pigskin prognostication. 




Speaking of Gordon, his 21.2 FPTS withered on the vine of my bench as he punched in two scores, or two more than his total touchdown tally from all of the 2015 season. I also had Isaiah Crowell, he of the politically incorrect police depictions on social media. His 17.8 FPTS helped neither the Browns or the Mud Dogs to a victory in the opening stanza of the season as he too rusted away on reserve. Who did I choose to play? GIOVANNI TAPIOCA BERNARD, WHO COULD NOT OUTRUN A PATHETIC JETS LINEBACKING CORPS EVEN THOUGH HE IS AN ATHLETIC SPECIMEN. Not even AJ Green's otherworldy destruction of the island formerly known as Revis could rescue my idiotic decision making. 




Seth rolled out the best QB performance of the week, personified by Drew Brees' strafing of the Raiders already shown in that Cooks highlight. 423 PAYDS, 4 TDS and one fumble netted 37.4 big FPTS. Formerly Fat and now merely Festive Eddie Lacy contributed 11.8 FPTS, and Darth Belicheck's 




Human Victory Cigar (AKA LeGarrette Blount) flattened the Cards by sheer dint of will. Arian Foster had a good performance in a terrible matchup, enjoy it while it and his health lasts. Speaking of health, Demaryius Thomas tweaked a hip in the course of beating the Panthers Thursday night, and I just happen to own his handcuff for the discerning and forward looking fantasy owner. 

Game of the Week's Margin of Victory: 8.1 FPTS, or .3820754716981132 Melvin Gordons

Andy 117.9 (0-1) Seth 126 (1-0)

The Cursed One vs Big Gurleys Don't Cry 

Jordan turned her #1 draft value into the lowest scoring output of the week. Todd Gurley is a superhuman beast, capable of leaping tall buildings in a single, All American hurdle. Unfortunately even his blazing speed is capable of outrunning the LA Lams offensive putridity. 




CJ Anderson's 32.9 FPTS in the Super Bowl rematch certainly put Harris behind the 8 ball as the final whistle echoed across Mile High Field. But losing your primary receiver 1.7 quarters into the season is a devastating blow. To top it all off, Russell Wilson got stomped on by a boy named Suh and may miss several weeks with an ankle. 



Jared cashed in on SEC West Alumni torching the league this week. Now the sole Manning, Eli had a modest passing day in Big D. Amari Cooper is still catching rockets from the right cannon of Derek Carr, snagging 6 balls for 137 yards. Carlos Hyde AND Ryan Matthews avoided injury snake eyes for now, while rushing for a combined 47.3 FPTS. As a victim of Hyde's patented Week 1 amazing effort in the past, all I can say is good luck with that walking wounded player. Continuing the medical theme, it is past time to rip off the Band-Aid that is the concept that Jordan Cameron will ever do anything in Miami. 




Final Score: Jordan 84.2 (0-1) Jared 129.9 (1-0) 

Week 2 Preview 
Jared (1-0) vs Andy (0-1) 
Graham (1-0) vs Seth (1-0) 
Jordan (0-1) vs Josh (1-0) 
Tyler (0-1)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! vs Jeremy (0-1) 
Bryan (1-0) vs Aaron (0-1) 
The honeymoon is over: Troy (1-0) vs Kia (0-1) 

You have already completed your waiver wire pickups, so send me stupid trade offers. One thing we can all agree on is GO NEERS! as Black Saturday happens this weekend against the U. 

2016 Draft Recap

2016 Draft Review

Welcome to the 2016 Porkchop Ownership Group Season! It appears that the automated draft rankings have gone the way of Peyton Manning and been retired this season. Instead of a meaningless letter grade representing how individual teams did the opening night of the season, you dear readers




will instead have to deal with the incoherent post beer-pong ramblings of your unelected, overly verbose and terrifyingly committed PCOG Commissioner Andy Hutton. So sit back and enjoy this entirely meaningless rambling about an activity that went very well for some and pants shittingly poorly for others.

But first, introductions must be made. Two new entrants to the PCOG grace us in the the fourth iteration of our fantasy league. Kia Creamer, FNG, and the brains behind the 5-8 finish of her new almost new husband last year, joins us as a full fledged member. She is of course a wedding-cake cupcake connoisseur of note and a wonderful human being. Troy and the PCOG as a whole are lucky to have her in our midst




Also, and at graciously at the last minute, is Jeremy Williams, FNG. He is also known as Bryan's first ASU roommate and Godfather to little Chalupa Batman




Jeremy is a smart, dedicated football fan as shown by his selecting of most of my targets in the draft. I am sure that all of you will join me in welcoming the two FNGs and wishing them death and destruction in the upcoming season. To the Recap!

 

http://games.espn.com/ffl/tools/draftrecap?leagueId=53884

Rounds 1-4

The first pick of course went to Jordan, as reward for her last place finish and byproduct of her defense of the first back-to-back SACKO trophy. With Gurley off the board the draft started in earnest, after a slight two minute asshole related delay by my dear brother. Using the full two minutes for the consensus #1 player in fantasy football is not cool.

 

The first round passed in a predictable manner, with 6 running backs and 6 wide receivers each being selected. My own hopes were crushed when Jeremy selected Ezekiel Elliot before I was able to. This shameful example of malfeasance and skullduggery really disappointed me, and once again the PCOG will not be a keeper league because my favorite young running back is not safely ensconced on my roster.

The second round continued the run on WR/RB, with the lone exception being America's favorite meathead Gronk Robkowski going to our defending champion Shirtless Josh at #13. An interesting trend developed in young House Creamer (their words: Pound the Rock) as both bride and groom went with a FF strategy as old as time, back to back RB in the first two rounds. In an inverted track, Graham is on the cutting edge of current FF groupthink as shown by WR-WR selections.

Round three held several surprises. The first QB came off the board in the form of Cam Newton. There was one notable variance in collected 2016 ADP ( or average draft position, the collated results from drafts across the main FF sites) in the form of Jeremy's selection of one half of the "exotic smashmouth" offense in Demarco Murray. He is shown at #47 overall, yet was selected at #32 or 1+ rounds over the average. I'm sure this will work out for you Jeremy, based off of the collated offensive prowess that he and the Titans showed last year. This is a perfect example of one of my tenets of drafting: If you like a player, draft him and damn the consequences. (Round 3: 1QB, 5RB and 6WR)

Round 4 yielded several players of note. Two TEs had their name called, along with the first RB handcuff. Bryan wisely selected Deangelo Williams last year, only to trade him based on some spurious advice from one of his brothers. I assume that he will not make the same mistake this year, in accordance with the ridiculously high draft capital expended to secure him. Speaking of NFL players whose value is somewhat truncated for the 2016 season, Jordan picked Josh Gordon who is currently banned for the first four games of the season, and is one bong hit away from another year long timeout. Based on the clear levels of adult decision making skills and personal discipline he has shown in previous years, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. (Round 4: 1QB, 2TE, 2.1875RB 5.75WR)

Rounds 5-6 are when desperation starts to rear it's ugly head. Some truly putrid selections were made. First and foremost among those regrettable decisions was one of mine. Melvin Gordon sucked out loud last year, despite a handoff being within the maximum effective range of one of Felipe Rios' feeble sidearmed deliveries. I can only hope that he will bounce back this year as he is currently my RB2. Jameis "This Aint Free Shoes University Anymore" Winston's selection is an awe inspiring disregard for ADP and visual evidence. Ryan Matthews, that bastion of health and production, being chosen by a team named "The Cursed One" does not augur well. Especially now that Chip Kelly's injury preventing shakes are no longer present in the Shitty of Brotherly Love. Speaking of quack science, Russell Wilson actively hawked a "concussion preventing" bubble water to the idiotic denizens of the Pacific Northwest. I can only assume that Jordan and Aaron's recent move back to the East Coast was an attempt to escape the overwhelming hordes of 12 year old Seahawk fans that plague the Left Coast from Vancouver to NorCal. Graham is relying on the hyper aggressive RGKnee to deliver ducks to Duke Johnson. Frank Gore is 67 years old.

Rounds 7-8 is evidently when the Fireball shots started to flow like water. Aaron selected a suspended NE QB for the second year in a row. Seth's "Theres (sic) always next year" chose Arian Foster. This is appropriate because he inevitably gets hurt and is reduced to rehabbing in the vain desire for one more year of NFL veteran minimum game checks. Speaking of oft injured and underutilized RBs, Kia chose Rashad Jennings. He will unerringly convert his 6 touches a game into one of a million debilitating soft tissue issues before the bye week. Two more mid round D/ST frittatas were served up by nose picking short order cooks. Tyler chose TJ Yeldon, the RB tha Jacksonville chooses to ignore in the red zone, right before I could snatch him up. PCOG members continued to select RB handcuffs for starters not on their roster.

Rounds 9-10: Subpar D/STs continue to fly off the board. I still do not have a QB or a TE. Reinforcing his collection of convalescent players, Seth selects a TE that won't see the field until the PCOG season is half over. I select a RB who looks up to Colin Kaepernick's current PR situation. Graham chooses the latest preseason all-star RB stuck in a committee. A kicker comes off the board, and I feel sanity leaking out of my ears. Jordan wonders whether Felipe can make Antonio Gates again.

Rounds 11-16 End of the bench players that will inevitably be cut and resigned 178343 times before Thursday are selected.

The 2016 PCOG season is upon us. Trading this year will be judged for fairness by Jonny MoCo. This will be the SOP for trading: Slap together an insulting offer, consisting of the dregs from your roster for what will surely be the star player from another's team. When the teams are satisfied with the terms of the deal, submit the proposal to me via text. I will forward the proposal to our Trade Czar who will undoubtedly ignore it in favor of watching commercials on wheels turn left for 97 hours in that week's NASCAR race. He will render judgement and I will enact it on the site, the players will swap teams after a 24 hour period.

Good luck to all of you. This is the highlight of my football watching season every yea

Quarter-Final Quandaries

First round playoff PCOG action ended last night with a highly entertaining game. Only one game in Week 14 was even close, and it was already decided by late Sunday night. Now two crowned division champs will emerge from their bye-week slumber to take on the victors from the championship bracket. The battered fallen from the championship bracket have had their title aspirations vanquished but still compete for position in the 2016 draft. The consolation bracket is a game of musical chairs, but the last one standing will be the 2015 SACKO. How did the games shake out this week? To the Recap!

 

Week 14 Recap

Championship Bracket

Yes We Cam Superman vs The Cursed One

Two founding members of PCOG squared off as the #4 seed Jared met #5 seed Jonny MoCo. Team Racers veered on and off the track during the course of the 2015 season, starting off with maintaining the PCOG tradition of the AutoDraft Fairy. His season was marked with a 4 game losing streak and a five game winning streak. On this particular weekend he rolled out a combo platter of studs and waiver wire hopefuls. Cam Newton, the probable NFL MVP, racked up 26.8 FPTS in only 3 quarters of play against the Flightless Falcons. Antonio Brown was tackled on the 1 yard line, setting up Jared's DeAngelo Williams for the easy vulture score.




(In a related note, FXX's The League has reached the end of the series. For all of you who don't watch the show, you are a shit sipping frittata. For those of you who do, I'm sure you would agree that this season was not the best but still had some good bits.)

 

Lamar Miller had 90 yards and two scores in the first half of the Monday Night Game, only to be promptly forgotten by the Dolphins' third offensive coordinator of the year. The big revelation (and the winning score) was Isaiah Crowell of the hapless Browns. 145 yards and two touchdowns on twenty carries is the result of a clever pickup and reading the matchup. It is strange that the SF D/ST's effectiveness is a trick of geography, as they have been putrid at home and rec-level on the road. Good luck rolling him out next week at Seattle.

Team Tracers benefited from the Steelers WR's inability to cash in and score, as he recorded two short touchdowns. 27.9 FPTS were seriously boosted by those red zone opportunities, as he only had 91 total yards on Sunday against Cincinnati. Ryan Tannehill just could not keep up with Mouthbreather Manning's torrid pace Monday night, and was only able to record 17.3 FPTS. Sammy Watkins continues to be the most criminally underused receiver in the league, but still managed 18 FPTS. Poop performances against primo matchups torpedoed any chance Harris had this week, as Megatron, Jeremy Hill and ASJ only combined for 11.9 FPTS. Harris goes back into the trash heap and Jonny advances against the Terminator in Week 15

Final Score: Jonny 121.1 (8-6) Jared 96.6 (7-7)

Chocolate Salty Rawls vs Tauben Time

Two rookie biatches

 

popped their PCOG playoff cherries in their first year, which is pretty admirable. Roommate Ben's regular season was marked by a 5 game losing streak, only offset by a 3 game winning streak. Josh's season reached it's high point from weeks 5-8, recording a 4 game streak of W's. His playoff berth was placed in doubt during a late season swoon of 3 losses in a row. Ben's postseason rested on the backs of two Seahawks: Russell Wilson and Thomas Rawls. Wilson is on the hottest QB streak in the league. The last month has recorded almost 1200 passing yards and 16 passing touchdowns without a pick. Thomas Rawls sadly got injured in the first quarter after a fast start. A broken ankle sidelines him for the rest of this year and the NFL playoffs, and places the beginning of next year in doubt as well. Ben's team could not overcome his truncated performance, nor that of another hurt RB in LeGarrette Blount. Blount went down with a hip injury, there is no prognosis for his return. I am sure you will know well in advance of next Sunday, as the Patriots are the most clear communicating team in the league when it comes to hurt or limited players. Teal Julius of the Jags entered the year labelled as a probable bust, as he was going from Peyton Manning to Blake Bortles. Most analysts declared that the change was going to be a catastrophe for the oft-injured TE, but he has instead reaped the many opportunities his new QB affords him. Against the Colts that translated to 13.9 FPTS.

FNG Josh reaped the big game Mouthbreather manning had Monday night, as Eli was in his starting lineup. 4 passing TDs and 337 PAYDS netted 33 FPTS. Julio Jones did nothing until a 42 yard catch late against the Panthers, but ended up with 12.3 FPTS. Rueben Randle had an OK day, coralling one of Mannings TDs for a nice double-dip. Nothing else was worth any note, as Devonta Freeman continued his slow swirl around the FF drain against Carolina and Charcandrick West could not capitalize on a great matchup against the hapless Bolts. He did not need too much though as Rawls's injury left Ben very Salty. Josh learns what the Green Weenie is all about against Andy next week while Ben ruminates on the luck of starting two RBs in one week that can't finish the game.

Final Score: Josh 102.9 (8-6) Ben 87.2 (7-7)

Consolation Bracket

Breasseales

Aaron bet big on the Packers-Cowboys Game. 5 of 9 starters suited up on a rainy and windy day in Green Bay. It had been said that Eddie Lacy went into feast mode two weeks ago, but that was wrong. Lord Eddard Lacy has risen from the dead as a White Walker, terrifying defenses as the winter cold grips the gridiron across the country. The once-formidable Dallas defense was eviscerated by the rotund running back, as he totaled 148 yards and a score in a game where GB actually ran the ball. That Rodgers to Rodgers connection once again hooked up for a score, with Aaron adding another and 200+ yards thru the air. The big difference maker was once again Brandon Marshall, one half of the best scoring WR duo since Cris Carter and Randy Moss from the 1998 Minnesota Vikings. 6 catches for 125 yards and a score against the terrible Titans made a great day for the troubled receiver. The Panthers D/ST forced 4 turnovers from Atlanta, and garnered 20 FPTS. Ronnie Hillman started the game against the Raiders but did not do much.

Seth's mediocre day could not keep up with his small brother Sunday. Tom Brady did not have to exert himself against Houston, keeping his score moderate. Darren McFadden totaled 11 yards on only 9 carries because Jason Garrett hates me, on a deep and personal level. James White only got one carry for the Pats, but it was good enough for a touchdown. Shaun Draughn, that best RB you've never heard of, wasn't heard of on Sunday against Cleveland 2.0. He could only manage 51 total yards on 13 touches against that terrible defense. Greg Olsen's injury shouldn't keep him out of next week's action, but that did Seth no favors this week.

Final Score: Aaron 128.5 (7-7) Seth 88.7 (5-8)

Broncos Glue Factory vs Team Trashbag

Graham's hot streak ended at about the same time the hot Indian food from Bryan's graduation feast exited him. Big Ben got big squat from his supporting cast, Jonathan Stewart did alright (17.9) but left the game with an injury. Buck Allen couldn't get much traction against the fearsome Seahawks and ended up with 58 total yards and a fumble. Jarvis Landry caught all the balls in the Miami half of Monday night which was good, but Travis Kelce caught basically no balls against the Chargers. David Johnson might just be a revelation for the Cardinals, as he had a great game that could have been better had he been awarded what I thought was a TD. One would think that in a game where the Jags scored 51 points Allen Robinson would have had 6 touchdowns, given his previous production: but instead he was held to only one catch for one TD.

Troy had a well rounded game that could have been oh so much better himself: TJ Yeldon exited with an injury (what a terrible week for RBs) as did Spencer Ware. Every one else was in double digits. Demaryius Thomas returned to form against Oakland for 12.5, Doug Martin continued his comeback player of the year pace for 17.9, Decker is the other half of that great Jets receiving corps and Tyrod is just a beast. His group of retards and assholes definitely earned their win, as did Troy. Simple Jack did a great job this week.

Final Score: Troy 114.1 (6-8) Graham 93.7 (5-9)

Sacko Race to the Bottom

Bryan and Jordan squared off in a last place tilt. To be clear, the 2015 Sacko is not entirely wrapped up. If Jordan wins out AND Bryan loses out AND Jordan outscores Bryan, then our recent graduate is the worst. If any of the above does not come to pass then Jordan's crown is preserved. In what was the closest and highest scoring match of the weekend both players hit on pretty much every starter. Todd Gurley reestablished his Rookie of the Year pace with 140 yards and two scores on only 16 carries. He was effectively bottled up right up till the end of the 3rd quarter by the Lions. Chris Ivory had 100+ RUYDS for the first time in 2 months against the Titans. Cobb and Hilton finally had FPTS that reflected their high draft status and DARREN FREAKING SPROLES SCORED A RUSHING TOUCHDOWN. It has been said that it is better to be lucky than good, and the little guy's score put Jordan over the top in this one.

Bryan bet big on the Seahawks this week. Starting two WRs from a team that throws the ball 30+ times a game exactly once this year is risky business. It worked out though as the two pint sized pass catchers totaled 56.6 FPTS. Melvin Gordon continues to show improvement from his previous showings, but that is not too hard considering the level of bust that he appears to be running behind that patchwork O-line. Jameis Winston is the real disappointment of the week. The Aints have given up an average of 27 FPTS per game this year, but the Crabwalker could only muster 13.9. Both teams go back into the hopper, hoping to avoid the ignominy of the Sacko and the reward of the first pick.

Final Score: Jordan 132.4 (4-10) Bryan 126.6 (5-9)

Week 15 Preview

Championship Bracket
#1 Tyler vs #5 Jonny:
#2 Andy vs #3 Josh

Winner's Consolation Bracket
#4 Jared vs #6 Ben

Sacko Invitational
Troy vs Aaron
Jordan vs Seth
Bryan vs Graham

The trade window has passed but you are still able to make waiver wire additions. Prepare your teams and may the best Commissioner win.