Quarter-Final Quandaries

First round playoff PCOG action ended last night with a highly entertaining game. Only one game in Week 14 was even close, and it was already decided by late Sunday night. Now two crowned division champs will emerge from their bye-week slumber to take on the victors from the championship bracket. The battered fallen from the championship bracket have had their title aspirations vanquished but still compete for position in the 2016 draft. The consolation bracket is a game of musical chairs, but the last one standing will be the 2015 SACKO. How did the games shake out this week? To the Recap!

 

Week 14 Recap

Championship Bracket

Yes We Cam Superman vs The Cursed One

Two founding members of PCOG squared off as the #4 seed Jared met #5 seed Jonny MoCo. Team Racers veered on and off the track during the course of the 2015 season, starting off with maintaining the PCOG tradition of the AutoDraft Fairy. His season was marked with a 4 game losing streak and a five game winning streak. On this particular weekend he rolled out a combo platter of studs and waiver wire hopefuls. Cam Newton, the probable NFL MVP, racked up 26.8 FPTS in only 3 quarters of play against the Flightless Falcons. Antonio Brown was tackled on the 1 yard line, setting up Jared's DeAngelo Williams for the easy vulture score.




(In a related note, FXX's The League has reached the end of the series. For all of you who don't watch the show, you are a shit sipping frittata. For those of you who do, I'm sure you would agree that this season was not the best but still had some good bits.)

 

Lamar Miller had 90 yards and two scores in the first half of the Monday Night Game, only to be promptly forgotten by the Dolphins' third offensive coordinator of the year. The big revelation (and the winning score) was Isaiah Crowell of the hapless Browns. 145 yards and two touchdowns on twenty carries is the result of a clever pickup and reading the matchup. It is strange that the SF D/ST's effectiveness is a trick of geography, as they have been putrid at home and rec-level on the road. Good luck rolling him out next week at Seattle.

Team Tracers benefited from the Steelers WR's inability to cash in and score, as he recorded two short touchdowns. 27.9 FPTS were seriously boosted by those red zone opportunities, as he only had 91 total yards on Sunday against Cincinnati. Ryan Tannehill just could not keep up with Mouthbreather Manning's torrid pace Monday night, and was only able to record 17.3 FPTS. Sammy Watkins continues to be the most criminally underused receiver in the league, but still managed 18 FPTS. Poop performances against primo matchups torpedoed any chance Harris had this week, as Megatron, Jeremy Hill and ASJ only combined for 11.9 FPTS. Harris goes back into the trash heap and Jonny advances against the Terminator in Week 15

Final Score: Jonny 121.1 (8-6) Jared 96.6 (7-7)

Chocolate Salty Rawls vs Tauben Time

Two rookie biatches

 

popped their PCOG playoff cherries in their first year, which is pretty admirable. Roommate Ben's regular season was marked by a 5 game losing streak, only offset by a 3 game winning streak. Josh's season reached it's high point from weeks 5-8, recording a 4 game streak of W's. His playoff berth was placed in doubt during a late season swoon of 3 losses in a row. Ben's postseason rested on the backs of two Seahawks: Russell Wilson and Thomas Rawls. Wilson is on the hottest QB streak in the league. The last month has recorded almost 1200 passing yards and 16 passing touchdowns without a pick. Thomas Rawls sadly got injured in the first quarter after a fast start. A broken ankle sidelines him for the rest of this year and the NFL playoffs, and places the beginning of next year in doubt as well. Ben's team could not overcome his truncated performance, nor that of another hurt RB in LeGarrette Blount. Blount went down with a hip injury, there is no prognosis for his return. I am sure you will know well in advance of next Sunday, as the Patriots are the most clear communicating team in the league when it comes to hurt or limited players. Teal Julius of the Jags entered the year labelled as a probable bust, as he was going from Peyton Manning to Blake Bortles. Most analysts declared that the change was going to be a catastrophe for the oft-injured TE, but he has instead reaped the many opportunities his new QB affords him. Against the Colts that translated to 13.9 FPTS.

FNG Josh reaped the big game Mouthbreather manning had Monday night, as Eli was in his starting lineup. 4 passing TDs and 337 PAYDS netted 33 FPTS. Julio Jones did nothing until a 42 yard catch late against the Panthers, but ended up with 12.3 FPTS. Rueben Randle had an OK day, coralling one of Mannings TDs for a nice double-dip. Nothing else was worth any note, as Devonta Freeman continued his slow swirl around the FF drain against Carolina and Charcandrick West could not capitalize on a great matchup against the hapless Bolts. He did not need too much though as Rawls's injury left Ben very Salty. Josh learns what the Green Weenie is all about against Andy next week while Ben ruminates on the luck of starting two RBs in one week that can't finish the game.

Final Score: Josh 102.9 (8-6) Ben 87.2 (7-7)

Consolation Bracket

Breasseales

Aaron bet big on the Packers-Cowboys Game. 5 of 9 starters suited up on a rainy and windy day in Green Bay. It had been said that Eddie Lacy went into feast mode two weeks ago, but that was wrong. Lord Eddard Lacy has risen from the dead as a White Walker, terrifying defenses as the winter cold grips the gridiron across the country. The once-formidable Dallas defense was eviscerated by the rotund running back, as he totaled 148 yards and a score in a game where GB actually ran the ball. That Rodgers to Rodgers connection once again hooked up for a score, with Aaron adding another and 200+ yards thru the air. The big difference maker was once again Brandon Marshall, one half of the best scoring WR duo since Cris Carter and Randy Moss from the 1998 Minnesota Vikings. 6 catches for 125 yards and a score against the terrible Titans made a great day for the troubled receiver. The Panthers D/ST forced 4 turnovers from Atlanta, and garnered 20 FPTS. Ronnie Hillman started the game against the Raiders but did not do much.

Seth's mediocre day could not keep up with his small brother Sunday. Tom Brady did not have to exert himself against Houston, keeping his score moderate. Darren McFadden totaled 11 yards on only 9 carries because Jason Garrett hates me, on a deep and personal level. James White only got one carry for the Pats, but it was good enough for a touchdown. Shaun Draughn, that best RB you've never heard of, wasn't heard of on Sunday against Cleveland 2.0. He could only manage 51 total yards on 13 touches against that terrible defense. Greg Olsen's injury shouldn't keep him out of next week's action, but that did Seth no favors this week.

Final Score: Aaron 128.5 (7-7) Seth 88.7 (5-8)

Broncos Glue Factory vs Team Trashbag

Graham's hot streak ended at about the same time the hot Indian food from Bryan's graduation feast exited him. Big Ben got big squat from his supporting cast, Jonathan Stewart did alright (17.9) but left the game with an injury. Buck Allen couldn't get much traction against the fearsome Seahawks and ended up with 58 total yards and a fumble. Jarvis Landry caught all the balls in the Miami half of Monday night which was good, but Travis Kelce caught basically no balls against the Chargers. David Johnson might just be a revelation for the Cardinals, as he had a great game that could have been better had he been awarded what I thought was a TD. One would think that in a game where the Jags scored 51 points Allen Robinson would have had 6 touchdowns, given his previous production: but instead he was held to only one catch for one TD.

Troy had a well rounded game that could have been oh so much better himself: TJ Yeldon exited with an injury (what a terrible week for RBs) as did Spencer Ware. Every one else was in double digits. Demaryius Thomas returned to form against Oakland for 12.5, Doug Martin continued his comeback player of the year pace for 17.9, Decker is the other half of that great Jets receiving corps and Tyrod is just a beast. His group of retards and assholes definitely earned their win, as did Troy. Simple Jack did a great job this week.

Final Score: Troy 114.1 (6-8) Graham 93.7 (5-9)

Sacko Race to the Bottom

Bryan and Jordan squared off in a last place tilt. To be clear, the 2015 Sacko is not entirely wrapped up. If Jordan wins out AND Bryan loses out AND Jordan outscores Bryan, then our recent graduate is the worst. If any of the above does not come to pass then Jordan's crown is preserved. In what was the closest and highest scoring match of the weekend both players hit on pretty much every starter. Todd Gurley reestablished his Rookie of the Year pace with 140 yards and two scores on only 16 carries. He was effectively bottled up right up till the end of the 3rd quarter by the Lions. Chris Ivory had 100+ RUYDS for the first time in 2 months against the Titans. Cobb and Hilton finally had FPTS that reflected their high draft status and DARREN FREAKING SPROLES SCORED A RUSHING TOUCHDOWN. It has been said that it is better to be lucky than good, and the little guy's score put Jordan over the top in this one.

Bryan bet big on the Seahawks this week. Starting two WRs from a team that throws the ball 30+ times a game exactly once this year is risky business. It worked out though as the two pint sized pass catchers totaled 56.6 FPTS. Melvin Gordon continues to show improvement from his previous showings, but that is not too hard considering the level of bust that he appears to be running behind that patchwork O-line. Jameis Winston is the real disappointment of the week. The Aints have given up an average of 27 FPTS per game this year, but the Crabwalker could only muster 13.9. Both teams go back into the hopper, hoping to avoid the ignominy of the Sacko and the reward of the first pick.

Final Score: Jordan 132.4 (4-10) Bryan 126.6 (5-9)

Week 15 Preview

Championship Bracket
#1 Tyler vs #5 Jonny:
#2 Andy vs #3 Josh

Winner's Consolation Bracket
#4 Jared vs #6 Ben

Sacko Invitational
Troy vs Aaron
Jordan vs Seth
Bryan vs Graham

The trade window has passed but you are still able to make waiver wire additions. Prepare your teams and may the best Commissioner win.