The Late Edition

First off, apologies for the tardiness of this week's article. I know when things are getting behind when Jared Harris, that known bastion of punctuality, slips me a text message inquiring about how late things are running.




Week 10 was highly entertaining. Several close games, bucking the recent trend of shame inducing blowouts that has recently plagued the PCOG, went right down to the wire. To the Recap!




Week 10 Recap
Pass the Blount vs Eifertgot how to Folkn catch

This game was a back and forth affair that highlights the typical FF team construction in the 2015 PCOG: Studs and Duds. For instance, Ben only had one outstanding performer this week as Martavis Bryant somehow overcame the entry of the Steelers backup QB to rack up 6 catches for 178 yards and a TD for 25.8 FPTS. I bet you are pretty damned happy that I vetoed that trade where you would have sent Bryant off without ever reaping his production now, aren't you?

One hell of a catch.



That brings up the proposed and vetoed trade. Ben traded Andy Dalton to Tyler for Martavis Bryant and Russell Wilson. This went through after the week 9 games (7NOV15). On 12NOV15 Ben attempted to trade Martavis Bryant and Russell Wilson back to Tyler (without even using the recently acquired players) back to Tyler for Blake Bortles and Davante Adams. In effect, Ben would have traded Andy Dalton and dropped Alfred Morris in order to have a cup of coffee with Bryant and Wilson and acquire Blake Bortles and Davante Adams. I vetoed this second deal for one reason. It is not my job to judge the equity of a deal. I fully believe that individual owners have the right to manage their rosters as they see fit, even if that means they do so poorly. Several trades have been approved that I believe were out and out stupid by one party or another. My only measuring stick for trade veto is collusion. It just seemed a little fishy to me for owners to swap players back and forth without even using them. Bryant is a really good WR, and Ben gave up a top-10 QB in order to get him. The trade has been vetoed without any protestation from the involved parties. If you guys think my trade vetting process is unfair, please present alternatives to me via text. I would like to point out that this is only the second trade in PCOG history that has been vetoed. Back to the fun stuff...

One stud, a couple of players with acceptable production (Wilson with 17.3 FPTS, Blount with 19.5, the Steelers D/ST with 15) and two stinkers: Heath Miller posted 6 measly points and Caleb Sturgis with 4. Whip the killer together with the filler and Ben posted a better than average (and second best for the week) 134.5

Studs and Duds ruled supreme on Team Eifert. Carson Palmer had 21.6 against the former best defense in the league and HOLY SHIT ADRIAN PETERSON IS A BEAST

 

80 yards untouched to cap off what was already a great day by my first round pick. This was my approximate reaction watching All Day streak down the field




The game hung in the balance going into Monday Night. I think I was down about 30 points headed into the CIN-HOU matchup, with three players yet to play. AJ Green, beast. Tyler Eifert, the shining jewel of the "take nothing but RB and WR early and everything else late" strategy. The tough Bengals D/ST against the laughable Texans, surely they would be good for a couple turnovers and maybe a TD right?




Dropfest 2015 started around 8:30 pm and did not stop until my dreams were crushed. Tyler Eifert had 2 drops on the season before the game and left with 6. AJ Green went almost 3 full quarters between catching a ball, then went on to fumble AND a dropped TD to boot. This does not even bring up the catching woes of one Mike Evans. He has been known as a 50/50 player, where the QB feels comfortable throwing the ball up for him in a coin flip situation and assuming he would come down with it. Instead he is a 50/50 player where he DROPS HALF OF HIS TARGETS. These three studs are represented below





Final Score: Ben 134.5 (5-5) Andy 131.3 (7-3)

Thick Bitch vs Tauben Time

Bryan has balls of steel. He knows very well in the tales of hallowed PCOG antiquity what happens when you start Kirk Cousins. He has laughed at the misfortune of other managers who inserted the mercurial QB into their lineup only to watch it explode in their face.




Fully knowing this he still persevered in starting him, and this is what he got:

 

I know that clip is from two weeks ago but it is too good to not repurpose for this occasion. Brandin Cooks, a waiver wire castoff, got 28.7 and all of New Orleans' scoring in that same game. That is where the gravy train ends though. Mark Ingram busted off a 70+ yard run but couldn't punch it in from the 2. Alfred Blue ran into the tough Bengals D/ST all Monday Night. Willie Snead caught as many balls from Drew Brees on Sunday as I did. The formidable Rams D/ST got torched by the resurgent Bears. Any of those players could have bridged the gap between Bryan and FNG Shirtless Josh this week, but fell short.

Speaking of FNG Shirtless Josh, he too had a few stinkers. James Jones met Snead catch-for-catch. The #1 performing D/ST in FF, the Denver Broncos, posted a whopping one point. Steffon Diggs and Json Witten were matched examples of mediocrity at 6.9 and 6.7 FPTS respectively. But, FNG Shirtless Josh also had the stud component to offset his duds. Chacandrick West continues to be an able replacement for Jamaal Charles. For the third straight time, he posted 25+ FPTS. Many of those came in this stinky, smelly, garbage time catch and run in the fourth quarter of a game already decided.

 

They all count the same though. Speaking of basura, James Starks' day was saved by the suddenly reeling Packers' last TD drive. Eli Manning performed well in what turned out to be the game of the week. Justin Forsett continues to wonder where all the running lanes from last year are as he struggles against the ineptitude of Baltimore's offense.

Final Score: FNG Josh 117.6 (7-3) Bryan 106.2 (4-6)

The Cursed One vs my body too bootylicious

Ever since this commercial




hit the airwaves, the Green Bay Packers have circled the drain. Jordan has felt much of their pain as her #1 pick, Fat Eddie Lacy, has continued to struggle. She recently doubled down on her Packers bet by trading for strugglebunny Randall Cobb. Todd Gurley has been excellent, but even he had to grind out some tough yards against Chicago this Sunday. It is pretty impressive that a "poor" game for him still totaled 19.4 FPTS. It may not be the incredible production he has totaled since becoming the starter, but it was good enough for RB1 points in Week 10.

Did you know Gurley was an All-American Hurdler in college?



Harris was not that much better this week. Deangelo Williams did not turn a top 5 matchup into top 5 FPTS, Calvin Johnson continues to be criminally underused by Jim Bob Cooter

For Realsies



and Gary Carnage continues to carry his team. Derek Carr's streak of 300+ PAYDS and multiple TDs continued in spite of the gale-force winds swirling around O Co. Coliseum. Jared has to hope that his starting QB and his starting WR1 teams get into a firefight this week as Detroit and Oakland meet, because I don't think that 89.2 FPTS is gonna do it against his opponent this week.




Final Score: Jared 89.2 (would have lost to any other team this weekend 6-4) Jordan 83.2 (2-8)

PCOG Super Bowl Rematch: Super Sonic Shady Odell DeAndre McManuses vs Battered, Pack and Blue

It is appropriate that that Tyler had two players in the Monday Night game. He, and the rest of the football world, saw how AJ Green should be used in DeAndre Hopkins. No matter what the coverage, the noodle-armed slack-jawed Texan QB of the quarter throws it to his best player. Tyler's QB refuses to throw to Green in this manner, and it really grinds my gears. Team SSSOM overcame his terrible QB through Hopkins and ODB. Beckham was largely held in check in his game but managed to get behind the D for this huge scoring play.




If you told me before kickoff that Aaron Rodgers would chuck the ball a Felipe Rios-like 61 times in this game, I would have wondered if we would see a 90 FPT game from him. Instead he only posted a pitiable 23.1. Tyler's Davante Adams was on the receiving end of 21 targets! I don't watch the Pack on TV every Sunday like our Aaron does, but if Mike McCarthy doesn't figure out what is wrong with his offense soon he will be sharing that couch with Mr Breasseale.

Rodgers Missing his Injured Love



Giovani Bernard continues to be the Bengals RB you want, but he continues to give only so-so performances. Ronnie Hillman matches that RB by committee slot, only in blue and orange instead of black and orange. At least you have a playoff bound defense lead by the best linebacker on the planet.




Final Score: Tyler 128.1 (9-1) Aaron 102.6 (4-6)

Trashbag vs Busted Foot Patriot

Graham had a pretty good effort in Week 10. 8/9 starting slots had double digit scoring. Granted, the highest of those was Jonathan Stewart at only 20.6 FPTS but slow and steady can win the race. Marshawn Lynch Beast Moded his way through an abdominal injury but put up only 13.5 FPTS against the stingy Arizona D/ST. The Vikings did contribute a touchdown on this Cordarrelle Patterson kick return

 


Seth has followed the lead of Bryan and Aaron, putting most of his chips on one team. Unfortunately his Patriots did not contrive up a win any more than Bryan's Saints or Aaron's Packers. Tom Brady did his 100%. 334 PAYDS and two scores were only lessened by his two turnovers. Julian Edelman was doing pretty well until he succumbed to a broken foot in the first half. James White has done all he needs to do to prove that he is not in fact Dion Lewis 2.0 DeMarco Murray has rebounded from early season woes very well, posting 20+ FPTS in 4/5 of his past games. Darren McFadden, his replacement in Big D, could not capitalize against a mediocre Buc's D/ST and only put up 11.6 FPTS. All in all Seth just didn't have the horses to hang with the Team Teddy Graham.




Final Score: Graham 120.7 (3-7) Seth 102.9 (4-6)

Negative Horsepower vs Yes We Cam Superman

The Fivehead giveth and the Fivehead taketh away. In Week 10 he tooketh away 7.6 FPTS. Manning completed 5 passes to the Broncos and 4 to the Chiefs. He is donzeo.You need to find a replacement ASAP. Jeremy Langford is the replacement for the Forte Year Old RB and damn he looks good. He can run, he can catch, he scores at will. All of this against a good Rams D/ST. He has another stiff test this week against the Broncos D AND Forte may play this week. It was good while it lasted bud. Eric Decker continues to catch TDs and Yeldon fought through a tough foot injury which might sideline him tonight against the Titans. Josh Brown Destroyer of Worlds is the second best K in FF this year, have fun replacing 16 FPTS of production this week as the Giants are on a bye.




Jonny seems to be on a roll. Lamar Miller put up 20+ FPTS against an incredible Philly run defense, Gronk Robkowski cannot be contained, Cam Newton is the best goal line RB in the league and Antonio Brown is good at celebrating.




That one came at the end of a 56 yard touchdown. It helped to overcome Emmanuel Sanders' big fat squadoosh against KC. Charles Sims couldn't get anything going against the Cowboys despite what seemed like 40 pass targets more than 10 yards downfield. Jonny should have gotten negative FPTS for the Ravens D/ST on this stupid penalty that put Jax in position for the game winning kick:




But that is not how our scoring system works, and instead he got points for the sack. It is Fantasy Football after all, not Madden.

Final Score: Peyton Manning -7.6 (benched) Troy 122.3 (3-7) Jonny 134.7 (6-4)

Week 11 Preview

9-Line Superfine: (Andy 7-3 vs Jared 6-4)
Bride Battles Best Man (Jordan 2-8 vs Bryan 4-6)
Seth's Old Roommate vs Current Roommate: (Aaron 4-6 vs Ben 5-5)
Panthers Fans Fight it Out (Jonny 6-4 vs Graham 3-7)
More Jokes I can't think of right now: Seth 4-6 vs Tyler 9-1,FNG Shirtless Josh 7-3 vs Troy 3-7 

Only three weeks remain until the FF Postseason begins. Make trades, scour the WW and stock up on the essentials because Winter is Coming.