2018 Finale
Thanks Ron, this is Champ Kind here from the Channel 4 Sports Desk with an exciting report on the end of the Pork Chop Ownership Group's Super Bowl.
16 weeks of fantasy pursuits have yielded a champion. 4 months of agonizing over lineups, matchups, idiotic trade offers and terrible choices between bad and worse options on a waiver wire devoid of anything approaching a startable player is over and now a winner has emerged. A contest between two OG members for the Chopper went right down to the final game of the week, but THERE CAN BE ONLY onE! TO THE RECAP! [b]CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND Chillin with Mahomies vs Team Girl[/b] Aaron has an incredible team. His entire starting roster except for the D/ST was drafted waaaay back in September. The heavy hitters on his team came through again this week, with Captain Kirk and his top weapon Adam Thielen strafing the hapless Lions again and again. This end-of-half hail mary is not the first, nor will it be the last hail mary that finds it's way into the hands of a waiting tight end. https://streamable.com/dt6hs What an incredible throw. It makes up for this gaffe of a hard count, where Kirk sounds like he is about 13 years old. https://streamable.com/tit4t It turns out that screeching like a pubescent teen does not preclude him from throwing for three touchdowns. Thielen couldn't approach the torrid pace he was on earlier in the year, where he caught for at least a hundred yards in 8 straight games to start the season. Julian Edelman started the season suspended for PEDS.
It is not enough to be a scrappy gym rat coach's son, especially when the player is coming back from an ACL tear in a post 30 season. He has bounced back from a drug related suspension better than Josh Gordon has.
Tevin Coleman had an incredible matchup against the slumping Carolina Panthers. As the only RB of note left (healthy) on the team, he was up for a huge rushing day. Last week he had two 50+ yard rushes against the hapless Cardinals. With his impending free agency, this was his time to shine. Instead he went out with an injury and Brian Hill, an unknown prospect from that FBS football factory Wyoming had 100+ yards. Coleman was forced to watch for much of the second half, and totaled 7.6 FPTS. Aaron's other starting RB, Alvin Kamara, also did not have all that many carries. This has been the norm for him since his running mate, Mark Ingram II, also returned from a PEDs dispensary initiated suspension. Kamara is the epitome of efficiency though: He may have only had 7 carries and 23 yards, but two rushing touchdowns and 82 receiving yards made his day outstanding. He and CMC are approaching Le'Veon Bell/Todd Gurley levels of versatility. It will be interesting to see how effective he is next season when St Brees ascends to multi level marketing heaven and retires. https://www.canalstreetchronicles.com/2018/4/6/17184810/saints0drew-brees-jewelry-mishap-only-latest-in-a-long-line-of-unsavory-business-decisions http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/14972197/questions-surround-advocare-nutrition-empire-endorsed-saints-qb-drew-brees But we digress. In a brilliant game day roster decision, Aaron started Mohamed Fucking Sanu, a completely worthless WR4 in our deep and broad league. He paid off in spades, with 5 catches for 81 yards and a score against the Panthers. 21 points out of a flex in the non CJ Anderson category is quite the haul. Mason Crosby has recovered from his McCarthy induced funk quite nicely. The Saints D/ST was an interesting choice, given the high powered nature of the two offenses. I guess Aaron was hoping for Road Ben to rear his ugly head.
The game came down to Jared Cook on Monday Night though. The former Cock/Packer/Ram/Titan has always been an athletic enigma, blessed with size, speed and body control. About the only thing he has lacked has been reliable hands. He may have shucked that rep this year, with a career effort on the '08 All Madden Team known as the 2018 Oakland Raiders. He has been quite the deep draft find, totaling 800+ yards and 6 scores this year. While that may not be too impressive, in our current tight end environment marked by drudgery and pathetic outputs it is good enough to be the fifth best TE in our scoring format. Unfortunately, 25+ FPTS were required to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. And he got a booboo sometime in the first half. Aaron entered the championship bracket as the #1 overall seed, buoyed by an outstanding regular season and huge scoring. This is also the second straight year our newest Dad came into the playoffs as the #1 seed, with the easiest (by schedule) route to the Chopper.
It's halftime here at the Sports Desk, let's go through the final standings in the PCOG. On a red hot 7 game losing streak and drafting first in the 2019 Live Action Selection party, Kia "I got" Creamer"ed this year" (3-13). What can be said about your season that hasn't already been said about Syria: a bombed out desolate wasteland that should be abandoned at the earliest convenience, as there is no hope for a productive resolution.
Team BEERME2 (6-10), "managed" was managed by our version of the Cleveland Browns in the beloved Johnny MoCo. Much like the Mistake by the Lake, Johnny's fantasy career is marked by early success. Just like the Browns, this success is so long ago and so irrelevant to the modern league that he is just laughed at when he mentions his division championships from 3-5 years ago. Once again like the Browns, a tragic set of circumstances and new ownership resulted in the original home of the team moving. But like the new Browns, the first year back resulted in an awful year full of devastating defeats. My advice to you: Do what the New Browns did and draft Baker Mayfield. He looks pretty promising and could be a key piece to build around next year. https://streamable.com/fuoof TaubenTime4.0, steered by Shirtless Josh, had quite the season. Starting off a putrid 0-5 didn't put quite the nail in his season's coffin as one might assume. In fact, he clawed back to relevance and was on the cusp of the '18 playoffs. This circumstance necessitated the unheard of and never to be repeated rejiggering of the schedule so that the myriad tiebreakers would actually apply to him, Troy and Jeremy. Josh's year was so riddled with streakiness it looks like his final record hit a deer on the way home. 0-5->3-0->0-2->4-0->0-2. A little more consistency could have punched your ticket to the dance.
Chalupa Batgirl (6-10) had a lot on her plate this year. Welcoming a beautiful little girl into the world, and moving on up to the Big House, left little time for frivolities like Fantasy Football. I would normally excoriate someone for not prioritizing a free fantasy league before all things in life, but the boon of a new niece precludes any misuse of my commissioner's powers for bad in this case.
Fighting off the Sacko (7-9) was run into the ground by Bryan this year. His season was sunk with all hands with a Kia-esque 6 game losing streak. He lies to himself and anyone unfortunate enough to be within bitching range that "I would have won if I hadn't traded away James Conner" bla-bla-bla. Personally, I think this is the long awaited and overdue smiting by The Fantasy Gods. Years and years of trade raping has delivered (finally) it's just desserts. You are the PCOG's version of Bill Cosby: you may have gotten away with it innumerable times in the past, but the mighty dick of justice has finally pinned you to the wall. Had you not backed out of a proposed trade, you might have done better. The Fantasy Gods have blighted you with a stinky turd of a season. Bryan Cosby through the years
Troy (7-9) was another flash in the Salmon Pan. He had an incredible second month of the season, ripping off 5 wins to claw back to above .500. This brought out a smidgen of shit talking, which was immediately rewarded with another prolonged swoon that equaled his success. 0-4->5-0->0-5->2-0. Seeing Derrick Henry blow all the way up for a three game stint must rub all of the salt into your wounds, as his late season success would have powered you through the playoffs. I don't blame you of getting frustrated with his workload and performance.
Breasseale and Packer (8-8) As I have stated before, this is the absolute best dual management of a team I've ever heard of. One might have thought that this would be a too many cooks in the kitchen situation, but they worked it almost to perfection. Im incredibly curious to find out how you guys did it: Roster moves, Lineup decisions, trade offers and last minute stuff must have burned night and day in your respective phones alerts. They entered the playoffs with a .750 record only to lose in the first round. Evidently both sets of ESPN FF Apps were deleted, as they lost equaled the amount of losses in the last month as they did in the whole season.
Graham Cracker (8-8) had a bad last month, but that can't overwhelm a good regular season. His season really went as the presumptive Offensive Rookie of the Year Saquon Barkley went. When he was incredible (basically September through November) Graham kicked ass. As soon as the Penn State product hit the wall, Graham went into the tank.
Evil Tyler's Lobos (10-6) was on a mission of heretofore unheard of domination. Winning even one title is laudable. Two in five years is incredible. A threepeat, or winning half of the possible crowns, would have caused a terrible glitch in the ESPN fantasy site requiring all corrupted data to be thrown out and started anew. What may be even more impossible to believe is that Jordan's scumbag self trading brother had been in the Super Bowl 5 straight years. We are approaching Brady levels of dominance here. I guess that means that this years champ is your Peyton Manning, although my giant head is not the result of decades of HGH use and my deteriorating body will not cause me to retire. A worthy adversary and a fellow Funcle, I look forwared to booting your ass out of the playoffs again next season.
Don't Fournette to Blow a High Draft Pick (8-8) rode a scalped playoff ticket deep into the dance this year. Jeremy was at a fork in the road alongside Troy and Josh.
He chose the other path, and it made all the difference. Jeremy kept his head above water all season long, but was in the end sunk by the Jacksonvilleness of his marquee player. Fournette varies wildly from bell cow to doghouse with the "coaching" staff of the Jags. His week to week ceiling requires a starting spot in anyone's lineup, but he regularly flips a coin during the opening ceremony. Heads he drops bombs on the hapless opponent. Tails he tucks his tail and bombs. I would rather slit my wrists than draft him next year, but I could probably be trade-roofied into acquiring him. Eric (10-6) rode Johnny's triumphant and universally welcomed return to PCOG play into this season. This homer scumbag drank all of the time management Kool-Aid that Andy Reid could whip in the frozen hellscape that is Kansas City.
Mahomes, Khunt and Butker were on the warpath for Eric all season long. At least until the Rod Farva and the Schoolbus level incident was captured in that fated hotel's security camera.
Once Hunt was kicked to the kurb, Eric felt like he had to go all in on Tom Brady's #1 deep threat Josh Gordon. His subsequent blunt trauma to the head and lungs resulted in less and less playing time, as the Pats and Darth Belechik knew ahead of time that the troubled WR was about to be on the outs. Despite his blatant homerism, Eric has made a pretty good addition to the PCOG when he isn't doing the KC Chop. Jared Hartley and team Something Clever (10-6) had an incredible season when all of the circumstances are considered. Graduate School, Law School to be exact, obligates one to commit many hours a day to reading, studying, and attending class. Thankfully minutes can seem like hours when one's bleary eyes are propped open with methamphetamine salts. In all seriousness, the future Lt Governor of the Great State of North Carolina had a great season for which Lindsay should get all the credit. Her grace, patience, and 100+ miles of distance for the majority of the season allowed Jared "My Middle Name is Richard but I Prefer Dick" Hartley to furtively glance at his FF app when he was stuck in I440 traffic. Jared suited up for a practice case at CamelToe U
That gets all of the also rans out of the way. Let's get back into the Super Bowl, shall we?
I AM A FANTASY FOOTBALL LEGEND IN MINE OWN TIME. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LAY OUT THE COUNTLESS MISTAKES MADE BY LESSER MINDS WHEN THEY FRUITLESSLY ATTEMPT TO DEFEAT ME. NO, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT ANDY HUTTON IS THE 2018 PCOG CHAMPION! HOW DID IT HAPPEN? PATRICK MAHOMES, WHO HAS BEEN BLESSED WITH A ROCKET ARM AND BALLS MADE OF GRANITE, BENT THE FABRIC OF SPACE-TIME ITSELF TO SLOT THIS TOUCHDOWN AROUND AND THROUGH THE OVERMATCHED SEATTLE DEFENDERS. https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1077042909021523969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1077042909021523969&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.kansascity.com%2Fsports%2Fspt-columns-blogs%2Ffor-petes-sake%2Farticle223504200.html https://www.clippituser.tv/c/plbwdw DALVIN COOK, WHO WAS EXCORIATED AS A BUST BY SO MANY OF YOU APOSTATES AND NON-BELIEVERS, EMERGED IN THE PLAYOFFS AS A TOP TIER TRUE RB1. 100+ TOTAL YARDS AND 16.3 FPTS. MELVIN GORDON, WHO HAS THROWN OFF THE SHACKLES OF THE INJURY REPORT, IS THE BEST RB IN THE SHITTY OF LOS ANGELES! HE RUNS, HE CATCHES, HE SCORES SO MANY TOUCHDOWNS HE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. AND I GOT HIM IN THE SECOND ROUND OF THE DRAFT! TYREEK HILL, HE OF THE CHEETAH SPEED, DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO SCORE A 50+ YARD TOUCHDOWN ROCKET FROM MAHOMIE TO GET DOUBLE DIGITS. ROBERT WOODS IS THE BEST RECEIVER ON THE LAMS. ALL HE DOES IS GET OPEN WHEN THAT IDIOT GOFF DEIGNS TO LOOK IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION TO LOB A PRAYER IN HIS WAY, FOR INVARIABLY HIS TRUSTED HANDS WILL REEL IT IN. GEORGE KITTLE WAS AN UNKNOWN WITH AN INJURY DISTINCTION ENTERING DRAFT SEASON. HE IS ARGUABLY THE BEST TIGHT END IN THE LEAGUE, WHEN ONE CONSIDERS THE INCREDIBLE HANDICAP OF THE TERRIBLE QB PLAY HE HAS SUFFERED THROUGH. I really expected the Chargers to be able to handle the Ravens 1930's era rushing attack at home on TNF. Kai'mi'ka'meheha'meha'wave Fairbairn? was incredible last week, and provided the impetus I needed to overcome the MVPat's former owner. ROBBY ANDERSON, WHERE TO BEGIN. LEFT TO ROT ON THE WAIVER WIRE, I KNEW THAT THE PECKER'S TERRIBLE SECONDARY WOULD BE NO MATCH FOR HIS INSANE SPEED AND INCREDIBLE DEEP THREATNESS. 25.5 FPTS OUT OF THE FLEX IS JUST AWESOME. I ALSO STARTED HIM OUT OF SPITE, AS I KNEW THAT AARON WOULD BE WATCHING THE GB/NYJET GAME AND WOULD CRY TEARS OF IMPOTENT RAGE EVERY TIME HE TOUCHED THE BALL. [b]FINAL SCORE: ANDY 146.6 (11-5) Aaron 123.4 ANDY WINS![/b]
16 weeks of fantasy pursuits have yielded a champion. 4 months of agonizing over lineups, matchups, idiotic trade offers and terrible choices between bad and worse options on a waiver wire devoid of anything approaching a startable player is over and now a winner has emerged. A contest between two OG members for the Chopper went right down to the final game of the week, but THERE CAN BE ONLY onE! TO THE RECAP! [b]CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND Chillin with Mahomies vs Team Girl[/b] Aaron has an incredible team. His entire starting roster except for the D/ST was drafted waaaay back in September. The heavy hitters on his team came through again this week, with Captain Kirk and his top weapon Adam Thielen strafing the hapless Lions again and again. This end-of-half hail mary is not the first, nor will it be the last hail mary that finds it's way into the hands of a waiting tight end. https://streamable.com/dt6hs What an incredible throw. It makes up for this gaffe of a hard count, where Kirk sounds like he is about 13 years old. https://streamable.com/tit4t It turns out that screeching like a pubescent teen does not preclude him from throwing for three touchdowns. Thielen couldn't approach the torrid pace he was on earlier in the year, where he caught for at least a hundred yards in 8 straight games to start the season. Julian Edelman started the season suspended for PEDS.
It is not enough to be a scrappy gym rat coach's son, especially when the player is coming back from an ACL tear in a post 30 season. He has bounced back from a drug related suspension better than Josh Gordon has.
Tevin Coleman had an incredible matchup against the slumping Carolina Panthers. As the only RB of note left (healthy) on the team, he was up for a huge rushing day. Last week he had two 50+ yard rushes against the hapless Cardinals. With his impending free agency, this was his time to shine. Instead he went out with an injury and Brian Hill, an unknown prospect from that FBS football factory Wyoming had 100+ yards. Coleman was forced to watch for much of the second half, and totaled 7.6 FPTS. Aaron's other starting RB, Alvin Kamara, also did not have all that many carries. This has been the norm for him since his running mate, Mark Ingram II, also returned from a PEDs dispensary initiated suspension. Kamara is the epitome of efficiency though: He may have only had 7 carries and 23 yards, but two rushing touchdowns and 82 receiving yards made his day outstanding. He and CMC are approaching Le'Veon Bell/Todd Gurley levels of versatility. It will be interesting to see how effective he is next season when St Brees ascends to multi level marketing heaven and retires. https://www.canalstreetchronicles.com/2018/4/6/17184810/saints0drew-brees-jewelry-mishap-only-latest-in-a-long-line-of-unsavory-business-decisions http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/14972197/questions-surround-advocare-nutrition-empire-endorsed-saints-qb-drew-brees But we digress. In a brilliant game day roster decision, Aaron started Mohamed Fucking Sanu, a completely worthless WR4 in our deep and broad league. He paid off in spades, with 5 catches for 81 yards and a score against the Panthers. 21 points out of a flex in the non CJ Anderson category is quite the haul. Mason Crosby has recovered from his McCarthy induced funk quite nicely. The Saints D/ST was an interesting choice, given the high powered nature of the two offenses. I guess Aaron was hoping for Road Ben to rear his ugly head.
The game came down to Jared Cook on Monday Night though. The former Cock/Packer/Ram/Titan has always been an athletic enigma, blessed with size, speed and body control. About the only thing he has lacked has been reliable hands. He may have shucked that rep this year, with a career effort on the '08 All Madden Team known as the 2018 Oakland Raiders. He has been quite the deep draft find, totaling 800+ yards and 6 scores this year. While that may not be too impressive, in our current tight end environment marked by drudgery and pathetic outputs it is good enough to be the fifth best TE in our scoring format. Unfortunately, 25+ FPTS were required to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. And he got a booboo sometime in the first half. Aaron entered the championship bracket as the #1 overall seed, buoyed by an outstanding regular season and huge scoring. This is also the second straight year our newest Dad came into the playoffs as the #1 seed, with the easiest (by schedule) route to the Chopper.
It's halftime here at the Sports Desk, let's go through the final standings in the PCOG. On a red hot 7 game losing streak and drafting first in the 2019 Live Action Selection party, Kia "I got" Creamer"ed this year" (3-13). What can be said about your season that hasn't already been said about Syria: a bombed out desolate wasteland that should be abandoned at the earliest convenience, as there is no hope for a productive resolution.
Team BEERME2 (6-10), "managed" was managed by our version of the Cleveland Browns in the beloved Johnny MoCo. Much like the Mistake by the Lake, Johnny's fantasy career is marked by early success. Just like the Browns, this success is so long ago and so irrelevant to the modern league that he is just laughed at when he mentions his division championships from 3-5 years ago. Once again like the Browns, a tragic set of circumstances and new ownership resulted in the original home of the team moving. But like the new Browns, the first year back resulted in an awful year full of devastating defeats. My advice to you: Do what the New Browns did and draft Baker Mayfield. He looks pretty promising and could be a key piece to build around next year. https://streamable.com/fuoof TaubenTime4.0, steered by Shirtless Josh, had quite the season. Starting off a putrid 0-5 didn't put quite the nail in his season's coffin as one might assume. In fact, he clawed back to relevance and was on the cusp of the '18 playoffs. This circumstance necessitated the unheard of and never to be repeated rejiggering of the schedule so that the myriad tiebreakers would actually apply to him, Troy and Jeremy. Josh's year was so riddled with streakiness it looks like his final record hit a deer on the way home. 0-5->3-0->0-2->4-0->0-2. A little more consistency could have punched your ticket to the dance.
Chalupa Batgirl (6-10) had a lot on her plate this year. Welcoming a beautiful little girl into the world, and moving on up to the Big House, left little time for frivolities like Fantasy Football. I would normally excoriate someone for not prioritizing a free fantasy league before all things in life, but the boon of a new niece precludes any misuse of my commissioner's powers for bad in this case.
Fighting off the Sacko (7-9) was run into the ground by Bryan this year. His season was sunk with all hands with a Kia-esque 6 game losing streak. He lies to himself and anyone unfortunate enough to be within bitching range that "I would have won if I hadn't traded away James Conner" bla-bla-bla. Personally, I think this is the long awaited and overdue smiting by The Fantasy Gods. Years and years of trade raping has delivered (finally) it's just desserts. You are the PCOG's version of Bill Cosby: you may have gotten away with it innumerable times in the past, but the mighty dick of justice has finally pinned you to the wall. Had you not backed out of a proposed trade, you might have done better. The Fantasy Gods have blighted you with a stinky turd of a season. Bryan Cosby through the years
Troy (7-9) was another flash in the Salmon Pan. He had an incredible second month of the season, ripping off 5 wins to claw back to above .500. This brought out a smidgen of shit talking, which was immediately rewarded with another prolonged swoon that equaled his success. 0-4->5-0->0-5->2-0. Seeing Derrick Henry blow all the way up for a three game stint must rub all of the salt into your wounds, as his late season success would have powered you through the playoffs. I don't blame you of getting frustrated with his workload and performance.
Breasseale and Packer (8-8) As I have stated before, this is the absolute best dual management of a team I've ever heard of. One might have thought that this would be a too many cooks in the kitchen situation, but they worked it almost to perfection. Im incredibly curious to find out how you guys did it: Roster moves, Lineup decisions, trade offers and last minute stuff must have burned night and day in your respective phones alerts. They entered the playoffs with a .750 record only to lose in the first round. Evidently both sets of ESPN FF Apps were deleted, as they lost equaled the amount of losses in the last month as they did in the whole season.
Graham Cracker (8-8) had a bad last month, but that can't overwhelm a good regular season. His season really went as the presumptive Offensive Rookie of the Year Saquon Barkley went. When he was incredible (basically September through November) Graham kicked ass. As soon as the Penn State product hit the wall, Graham went into the tank.
Evil Tyler's Lobos (10-6) was on a mission of heretofore unheard of domination. Winning even one title is laudable. Two in five years is incredible. A threepeat, or winning half of the possible crowns, would have caused a terrible glitch in the ESPN fantasy site requiring all corrupted data to be thrown out and started anew. What may be even more impossible to believe is that Jordan's scumbag self trading brother had been in the Super Bowl 5 straight years. We are approaching Brady levels of dominance here. I guess that means that this years champ is your Peyton Manning, although my giant head is not the result of decades of HGH use and my deteriorating body will not cause me to retire. A worthy adversary and a fellow Funcle, I look forwared to booting your ass out of the playoffs again next season.
Don't Fournette to Blow a High Draft Pick (8-8) rode a scalped playoff ticket deep into the dance this year. Jeremy was at a fork in the road alongside Troy and Josh.
He chose the other path, and it made all the difference. Jeremy kept his head above water all season long, but was in the end sunk by the Jacksonvilleness of his marquee player. Fournette varies wildly from bell cow to doghouse with the "coaching" staff of the Jags. His week to week ceiling requires a starting spot in anyone's lineup, but he regularly flips a coin during the opening ceremony. Heads he drops bombs on the hapless opponent. Tails he tucks his tail and bombs. I would rather slit my wrists than draft him next year, but I could probably be trade-roofied into acquiring him. Eric (10-6) rode Johnny's triumphant and universally welcomed return to PCOG play into this season. This homer scumbag drank all of the time management Kool-Aid that Andy Reid could whip in the frozen hellscape that is Kansas City.
Mahomes, Khunt and Butker were on the warpath for Eric all season long. At least until the Rod Farva and the Schoolbus level incident was captured in that fated hotel's security camera.
Once Hunt was kicked to the kurb, Eric felt like he had to go all in on Tom Brady's #1 deep threat Josh Gordon. His subsequent blunt trauma to the head and lungs resulted in less and less playing time, as the Pats and Darth Belechik knew ahead of time that the troubled WR was about to be on the outs. Despite his blatant homerism, Eric has made a pretty good addition to the PCOG when he isn't doing the KC Chop. Jared Hartley and team Something Clever (10-6) had an incredible season when all of the circumstances are considered. Graduate School, Law School to be exact, obligates one to commit many hours a day to reading, studying, and attending class. Thankfully minutes can seem like hours when one's bleary eyes are propped open with methamphetamine salts. In all seriousness, the future Lt Governor of the Great State of North Carolina had a great season for which Lindsay should get all the credit. Her grace, patience, and 100+ miles of distance for the majority of the season allowed Jared "My Middle Name is Richard but I Prefer Dick" Hartley to furtively glance at his FF app when he was stuck in I440 traffic. Jared suited up for a practice case at CamelToe U
That gets all of the also rans out of the way. Let's get back into the Super Bowl, shall we?
I AM A FANTASY FOOTBALL LEGEND IN MINE OWN TIME. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LAY OUT THE COUNTLESS MISTAKES MADE BY LESSER MINDS WHEN THEY FRUITLESSLY ATTEMPT TO DEFEAT ME. NO, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT ANDY HUTTON IS THE 2018 PCOG CHAMPION! HOW DID IT HAPPEN? PATRICK MAHOMES, WHO HAS BEEN BLESSED WITH A ROCKET ARM AND BALLS MADE OF GRANITE, BENT THE FABRIC OF SPACE-TIME ITSELF TO SLOT THIS TOUCHDOWN AROUND AND THROUGH THE OVERMATCHED SEATTLE DEFENDERS. https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1077042909021523969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1077042909021523969&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.kansascity.com%2Fsports%2Fspt-columns-blogs%2Ffor-petes-sake%2Farticle223504200.html https://www.clippituser.tv/c/plbwdw DALVIN COOK, WHO WAS EXCORIATED AS A BUST BY SO MANY OF YOU APOSTATES AND NON-BELIEVERS, EMERGED IN THE PLAYOFFS AS A TOP TIER TRUE RB1. 100+ TOTAL YARDS AND 16.3 FPTS. MELVIN GORDON, WHO HAS THROWN OFF THE SHACKLES OF THE INJURY REPORT, IS THE BEST RB IN THE SHITTY OF LOS ANGELES! HE RUNS, HE CATCHES, HE SCORES SO MANY TOUCHDOWNS HE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. AND I GOT HIM IN THE SECOND ROUND OF THE DRAFT! TYREEK HILL, HE OF THE CHEETAH SPEED, DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO SCORE A 50+ YARD TOUCHDOWN ROCKET FROM MAHOMIE TO GET DOUBLE DIGITS. ROBERT WOODS IS THE BEST RECEIVER ON THE LAMS. ALL HE DOES IS GET OPEN WHEN THAT IDIOT GOFF DEIGNS TO LOOK IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION TO LOB A PRAYER IN HIS WAY, FOR INVARIABLY HIS TRUSTED HANDS WILL REEL IT IN. GEORGE KITTLE WAS AN UNKNOWN WITH AN INJURY DISTINCTION ENTERING DRAFT SEASON. HE IS ARGUABLY THE BEST TIGHT END IN THE LEAGUE, WHEN ONE CONSIDERS THE INCREDIBLE HANDICAP OF THE TERRIBLE QB PLAY HE HAS SUFFERED THROUGH. I really expected the Chargers to be able to handle the Ravens 1930's era rushing attack at home on TNF. Kai'mi'ka'meheha'meha'wave Fairbairn? was incredible last week, and provided the impetus I needed to overcome the MVPat's former owner. ROBBY ANDERSON, WHERE TO BEGIN. LEFT TO ROT ON THE WAIVER WIRE, I KNEW THAT THE PECKER'S TERRIBLE SECONDARY WOULD BE NO MATCH FOR HIS INSANE SPEED AND INCREDIBLE DEEP THREATNESS. 25.5 FPTS OUT OF THE FLEX IS JUST AWESOME. I ALSO STARTED HIM OUT OF SPITE, AS I KNEW THAT AARON WOULD BE WATCHING THE GB/NYJET GAME AND WOULD CRY TEARS OF IMPOTENT RAGE EVERY TIME HE TOUCHED THE BALL. [b]FINAL SCORE: ANDY 146.6 (11-5) Aaron 123.4 ANDY WINS![/b]
